The 12 Days of FCC

[ZeÜberMedic!]

On the 11th day of Christmas, Ajit Pai gave to me:
Eleven extra fastlanes
Ten advertisements,
Nine website trials,
Eight rooster-blocked downloads,
Seven corporate shills,
Six ISP bills,
Five packages,
Four turtled speeds,
Three price tiers,
Two blocked websites,
And a whole lot of internet feeeeeees!
fixed it i guess

[Ad Bot]

[Nonnel]

brother that's not how the 12 days of anything works

[Duck Quackington]

On the 12th day of Christmas, Ajit Pai gave to meeeeee;

Twelve ruined memes,
Eleven extra fastlanes,
Ten advertisements,
Nine website trials,
Eight rooster-blocked downloads,
Seven corporate shills,
Six ISP bills,
Five packages,
Four turtled speeds,
Three price tiers,
Two blocked websites,

And a whole lot of internet feeeeeeeeeeeeeees!
this reminds me of the payday 2 12 days of christmas song, oh the good memories

[Electrk..]

now let's sing it

[Potatoh]

now let's sing it

on discord

[AverageDude]

on discord

and record it

[Darth C3P0²]

and record it

like the starfishs

[Masterlegodude]

"Two blocked websites" doesn't seem like it'd fit "Two turtle doves" very well due to the per-word syllables being swapped after "Two"

[gr8dayseth]

"Two blocked websites" doesn't seem like it'd fit "Two turtle doves" very well due to the per-word syllables being swapped after "Two"

perhaps just "two websites blocked" instead!

[Nonnel]

move turtled speeds to 2? i mean it's even got the word
and maybe "4 blocked sites?" but that's usually "calling birds" so the syllables wouldn't match there either

[gr8dayseth]

move turtled speeds to 2? i mean it's even got the word

o forget that was my intention but i forgot turtle doves was on 2 not 4 lol

but ya sure

[Masterlegodude]

move turtled speeds to 2? i mean it's even got the word
and maybe "4 blocked sites?" but that's usually "calling birds" so the syllables wouldn't match there either

It's two syllables then one syllable, so substituting that with Seth's suggestion of changing the line a bit to "websites blocked" would work

It also means the same thing, so it still works in that sense as well

So it would go like this;
On the 12th day of Christmas, Ajit Pai gave to me;

Twelve ruined memes,
Eleven extra fastlanes,
Ten advertisements,
Nine website trials,
Eight rooster-blocked downloads,
Seven corporate shills,
Six ISP bills,
Five packages,
Four websites blocked,
Three price tiers,
Two turtled speeds,

And a whole lot of in-ter-net fees

It also brings "speeds" and "fees" closer together, and they sort of rhyme, so it's even better

Shills and bills even rhyme, if only there was a rhyme to be made at the start since there's a rhyme toward the middle and at the end