Ever wanted to kill yourself, but regular knives were too messy and slippery? Guns too complicated and EXPENSIVE to use?Well you're suicidal problems are no more, with the Kill-yourself-kit! Clean and easy ways to end your worthless life! Heres the things included in the kit.
The Easy-Stabber!
With the Easy-Stabber, you can slit your throat, your wrist or even stab your chest in a non-slippery, clean way!
- A grip to hold on, unlike ordinary knives.
- Theres a built-in blood absorber in the blade, suck all your blood out or hide evidence of your Self Delete without ever needing to wipe the blade!
The Easy-Gunner
Tired of the complicated reloading process of regular pistols, well this automatically does it for you! No need to dirty your hands by touching poisonous lead! This also includes a pressure-sensitive trigger, so no more hard pushing!
- Automatic reloading, no more need to pull or push!
- Easy trigger-pushing, no more endless pain but more death!
- The bullet completely dissolves after passing the whole body!
The Easy-Poison
Regular poisons are curable and painless! But with this poison bottle, you are instantly dead in the beat of the heart!
- Instant-kill, currently no cure for this poison
- Painful
And order now and you might get this:
The Neck-hanger
Regular ropes are too smooth and don't stab the throat enough! This latest rough invention can solve those problems!
- Rough surface to kill you faster
- Recommended by Self DeleteMouse Corporation!
Absolutely free!
Just call 666-1337-KILL, today!
Call 666-1337-KILL, now and get the Neck-hanger for free.
No shipping or handli-
owait what.
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FUUUUU-I think I might need the Neck-hanger now.