MSPA provides the most realistic and accurate descriptions of your daily life, sadly these services are not available for 1 week because Andrew Hussie is working on the flash update therefore you are stuck with this one:
Aries: Unknown
Aquarius: You have been heart-broken by a weird girl who likes making fish puns in every conversation.
Gemini: You have just died and now you are about to use your two extra lives to replace your dead-self, oh and you're in striking pink pajamas and the weird girl is poking flying brains.
Cancer: You were just talking to a blind girl and she figured out the color of your blood and she finds it very sweet and delicious, therefore the next time you meet her you will be greeted by a lick.
Libra: You are planning to lick the cancer guy soon.
Sagittarius: You're in a place with a whole bunch of gigantic tea-cups with cats on them, and you're reading the cancer guy's time-travelling memos.
Pisces: You are being assaulted by flying brains right now, right?
Taurus: You're on the floor on the Scorpio girl's floor and an angry voice inside your head is trying to make you kiss her, but you can't because you're crippled.
Scorpio: Someone is bitching at you.
Capricorn: You're in a land of tents and mirth, and your friend which is the cancer guy has left somewhere or uhmm.
Leo: You have just assaulted the Sagittarius guy and he's 0kay with that.
Virgo: You're on the edge of a volcano looking into the future.
