About time I get a drama. The way I host, I'm surprised it took this long :o
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Anyway, yes, I have a minor major semiresolved temper issue. In real life, I put up with the idiots and richards because, well, even though I'm pissed off, I know they can still take a swing at me if I actually call them a forgettard or tell them to get the forget out.
As a result, all of the stress, fury, and anger that I can't release in real life is released onto the Internet. Unfortunately, people on Blockland or the Internet in general aren't that good about staying calm and trying to get me to become so as well. They just rage and flame back which pisses me off more and causes me to do something which I later regret. This might be to absolutely all-out flame on them; warn them; mute them; kick them; ban them; or, a sad majority of the time, permaban them.
I'm not saying this makes up for anything I did or didn't do, I'm just saying it because it's the truth. Make of it what you will. However, even when I try to improve, people focus on the past or on what I did do wrong, not on how I've improved. This is, sadly, the nature of human beings everywhere, but it signifigantly dampens my motivation to keep trying.
For example, when I first made the Lava Trench Warfare server, I cheated a lot. Twenty minutes could not go by where I was both a.) on the server and b.) not orbing. However, I recognized that it wasn't fair and made an honest effort to stop. I still do orb during minigames maybe twice a week, but I improved and signifigantly so. People never notice, but that's honestly not something that they should have to. It was genuinely immoral and anyone who's considered 'normal' knows it. I did too, but I still did it. Why? I could not honestly tell you.
In fact, if I look at all of the things that I admit I shouldn't have done, they all have one common factor: I can't tell you what the forget I was thinking when I did them, and the same is true of your ban. You've reopened my eyes to this fact, and I'll make a genuine effort to improve. It may not be easy, but it's something that will help me to better control my anger not only on the Internet, but in real life as well.
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But seriously, you have to admit that shooting the host with any weapon just because they're AFK is just asking for a ban with most hosts.
