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| TomTheGeek²:
--- Quote from: Demitiri on March 19, 2011, 11:43:48 PM ---topic, I say! --- End quote --- alright. 2 min left :D. |
| Demitiri:
--- Quote from: ChuckTheArcher on March 19, 2011, 11:44:43 PM ---alright. 2 min left :D. --- End quote --- :D |
| ?:
I BROKE THEM UP! Copy + Paste it into a .txt. FACADE STAGEPLAY Sat Mar 19 22 54 24 2011 GRACE Trip, when are you going to get rid of this? TRIP What, Grace... this? GRACE Yes, you know how I feel about it -- TRIP I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?! GRACE You know I've had to ask you about this several -- TRIP Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute! GRACE Fine, Trip... fine... (George knocks on the front door.) (George knocks on the front door.) TRIP Uhp, he's here! GRACE What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now! GEORGE OPEN THE DOOR TRIP No, he's supposed to be here now! GRACE God... Trip! GEORGE RIGHT NOW (GEORGE knocks on the front door.) (GEORGE knocks on the front door.) (GEORGE knocks on the front door.) (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP George!! -- (interrupted) TRIP Hey! GRACE No, no, here we are! GRACE George, GEORGE A MARTINI, PLEASE GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! TRIP Yeah, how -- how are you doing? GEORGE I WOULD BE FINE GRACE Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound) GRACE And I have to say, you look great. GEORGE IF I HAD A MARTINI TRIP Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fix us some drinks in a sec! TRIP Ah, you need to help me break in my expensive new set of roostertail making accessories. GEORGE OKAY HOLD ON GRACE So come on in, make yourself at home! TRIP I'm just going to go close the door. (Trip closes the front door.) TRIP So! Drinks! TRIP What would you like? GEORGE MARTINI TRIP George, are you -- are you leaving the room? TRIP (little sigh) Anyway... I can't remember what we were talking about... GEORGE A MARTINI TRIP Uh, well, I'm just going to pour you a glass of this wine. GEORGE I WANT A MARTINI GRACE No no, GRACE George, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water? TRIP What...? GEORGE WINE GRACE George, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all -- (interrupted) PHONE ** RING ** GRACE Oh, I'll get it -- TRIP No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it. PHONE ** RING ** (GEORGE picks up the phone.) TRIP George, no! Don't do that. PHONE Hello? Hello? PHONE Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother. TRIP Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice. PHONE I don't recognize your voice... GRACE Oh! PHONE I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click ** TRIP Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up. GEORGE Hey Grace GEORGE I REMEMBER WHEN I HIT YOU GRACE Oh, I wanted to say hello -- -- (interrupted) TRIP Y -- yeah, heh, no, I, uh -- I can talk to my parents later. GRACE Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth -- (GEORGE puts down the phone.) TRIP Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they don't know 'black tie only' from... black bean chili. GRACE (frustrated sigh) TRIP Well, we're all friends here, uh... GEORGE Where's that wine? (GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.) (GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.) TRIP Oh, yeah, y -- you know, I should fix you a real drink in not too long... (GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.) (GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.) GRACE Trip, have you noticed, we're fighting in front of our friend. TRIP Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that... GEORGE It's fine GRACE Trip, -- (interrupted) TRIP What...? TRIP George, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy... GRACE (impatient sigh) -- (interrupted) GEORGE I WANT THAT MARTINI TRIP Oh, uh... GRACE That's kind of you, I'm sure Trip's happy to hear that. TRIP (clears throat) GEORGE GIVE ME A MARTINI OR WINE GEORGE I DEMAND ALCOHOL (GEORGE picks up the advice ball.) TRIP Now, now, George, in one word, what does this picture make you think of? (The advice ball reads, "Why Not") (GEORGE puts down the advice ball.) GRACE Oh, please, Trip, don't put our friend on the spot like that. -- (interrupted) GEORGE WINE TRIP No, no, that's not it -- GRACE Yeah, that's a fine answer, I like that...! TRIP No, no... George, take another look, this says... what. (GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.) (GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.) GRACE How about suffocating. GEORGE ITALY TRIP Well, the thing is, you see, this trip to Italy... it was our second honeymoon! GRACE What? George, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a weekend getaway, that's all. TRIP Goddammit, I was trying to find a way for us to spend some time together! GEORGE W TRIP (frustrated -- (interrupted) TRIP Romance! It says... romance...! -- (interrupted) GEORGE INE TRIP Wait wait wait -- see -- it was supposed to be romantic! GRACE And I missed my friend's art show. TRIP What? Who is this? GRACE A friend from college had a gallery show of his new paintings that weekend. (little sigh) TRIP Oh, okay... It's not like there was tons of art we could have seen in Italy, if you had just left the hotel room... GEORGE GIVE ME MY ALCOHOL TRIP Alright, good, heh heh, maybe you're on my side tonight after all, ha ha. GRACE You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate, (GEORGE picks up a trinket 8.) GRACE and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but... TRIP Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see our latest decoration scheme! (GEORGE puts down a trinket 8.) GRACE But, George, you have to look at this room, and admit it looks terrible. TRIP Grace -- GRACE I mean, look around, this room is... it's hideous! -- (interrupted) GEORGE This room is HORRIBLE TRIP No no, no no, see, Grace loves expensive furniture, she... TRIP grew up in this really nice house, with really nice couches and fancy dishes, and, and she can't live without this stuff. GEORGE I MIGHT NOT YELL IF I HAD WIN GRACE Oh, well... GRACE (little sigh) So I just had to have this couch... GRACE but, dammit, it's wrong, it's all wrong, I should have chosen a modest, simple love seat! (GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.) (GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.) GRACE (annoyed sigh) I bet -- (interrupted) GEORGE WINE GRACE (frustrated sigh) (GEORGE picks up a martini glass 1.) (GEORGE puts down a martini glass 1.) (GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.) GRACE (frustrated sigh) (GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.) GEORGE THIS GLASS GEORGE AND WINE GEORGE MAKES A GLASS OF WINE (GEORGE picks up the advice ball.) (The advice ball reads, "No") (GEORGE puts down the advice ball.) (GEORGE picks up the advice ball.) (The advice ball reads, "I Doubt It") GRACE You know Trip, that little advice ball of yours doesn't look good on the bar. (GEORGE puts down the advice ball.) TRIP What? It's a hilarious little bar toy. -- (interrupted) GEORGE OKAY FINE TRIP Ha ha, yeah! GEORGE I WILL MOVE IT (GEORGE picks up the advice ball.) TRIP Well, you have to appreciate how after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace can find the time to redecorate -- (interrupted) (The advice ball reads, "Sure Thing") (GEORGE puts down the advice ball.) TRIP Just leave my little advice toy out of this, okay? It's not hurting anyone, it just gives advice! GEORGE I WANT SOME WINE (GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.) (GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.) (GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.) GEORGE Hhhhhhh TRIP Grace, everything's fine! No one is complaining about your decorating -- GRACE No, decorating is just -- GRACE (frustrated sigh) GRACE There must be some way I could -- GEORGE GRACE IS A HORRIBLE DECORAT TRIP uh... ha heh heh... GRACE uh... TRIP what... GRACE wha... TRIP why... GEORGE I HATE THIS ROOM! TRIP ha ha, heh... GRACE ha ha ha... TRIP ha ha ha! GRACE ha ha ha ha ha!! TRIP Ha ha ha, heh, George, GRACE heh heh heh... TRIP heh, you had me going there for a sec... TRIP heh, ha ha... TRIP Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh... TRIP push our little buttons... TRIP heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that? TRIP ha ha... TRIP (big sigh) GEORGE Be right back TRIP Anyway... what were we talking about, heh? TRIP Uhh, you're driving me insane! TRIP Your... goddamn decorating... TRIP You're never satisfied with anything! You're never happy, never ever satisfied with anything. GEORGE (GEORGE GUZZLES THE WINE) TRIP George, wait, I can't fix you a drink right now! TRIP George, come on, stop running away! You started this mess, you need to help fix it! GRACE You and your damn parents... GRACE Sometimes I feel like our whole marriage is just for show! I don't know what you really feel! TRIP Oh, Jesus...! (GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.) TRIP Goddamn italy... TRIP I try to reach out to you, I try to be romantic with you, but you're cold, and distant! I do, I really try! GRACE Oh, my God...! TRIP Alright, you know what, George, GEORGE GRACE IS COLD AND DISTANT TRIP I need to ask you something. GRACE Trip -- TRIP Grace, let me ask our guest a question. TRIP George, yes or no... (GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.) TRIP If one person in a marriage gives the other advice, and that advice is taken -- years later, can you get blamed for that? GEORGE YES TRIP What...?! TRIP Oh, alright... yeah... TRIP Uhh, I keep trying to help you Grace, but you reject me, you cut me off, you cut me out of your life, goddammit! GRACE Oh, my God...! GEORGE YOU SHOULD GET A DIVORCE GRACE Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me! GRACE I can't take you anymore! GRACE Dammit, Trip! GRACE uhh! (GEORGE sits on the couch.) GRACE George, we're not normally like this, I don't know what's going on... GEORGE It's cause trip sucks (GEORGE gets up from the couch.) GRACE What?! What are you saying to me? TRIP Grace, are you talking about me? GRACE What do you care? GEORGE YES (GEORGE puts down the red wine bottle.) GRACE George, from what you said before, about marriage... I think that shows us something about Trip. -- (interrupted) (GEORGE picks up the white wine bottle.) TRIP George, come on, I don't feel like fixing drinks at this moment! (GEORGE puts down the white wine bottle.) TRIP Grace, we don't -- we don't have to do this... things are okay, we can just -- GRACE George, -- (interrupted) (GEORGE comforts trip.) TRIP No, uhh... George, what I need is to figure out what hell is going here... (GEORGE picks up the red wine bottle.) GRACE God, George, can we just stop talking about Trip's stuff, please? (frustrated sigh) GEORGE IT'S BETTER THEN YOURS GRACE Let's continue focusing on Trip. GRACE George, every time Trip is unhappy he rushes out and buys some new gadget. -- (interrupted) GEORGE Grace is handicapped TRIP See Grace, as usual you're making something out of nothing... GRACE Uhh... GRACE George, explain this to me! GRACE Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on.. TRIP They're vacations! -- (interrupted) GRACE George, (annoyed sigh) TRIP Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both. GRACE Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and fine wine... TRIP You think -- (interrupted) GRACE God, that wedding picture... I hate it. TRIP Grace, how can you say -- GRACE You and my parents had so much fun planning everything. Trip, the bride normally plans the wedding. GEORGE The picture is horrible GRACE George, (annoyed sigh) -- (interrupted) TRIP Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us. GRACE Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...! GEORGE Pfft, Nice picture TRIP I tried to give Grace the best during our Italy vacation. The best hotels, the best food... GRACE Do you hear yourself, Trip? The only thing you care about a vacation is that it's 'the best'. TRIP Ugh! GEORGE Get a divorce GRACE Ah! TRIP D -- divorce? George, you think we should get a divorce? GEORGE Yes GRACE Yes? TRIP This is bullstuff...! you're saying it's over, we should just give up...?! GEORGE Yes TRIP Yes? TRIP Uhh... TRIP Uhh, this is too much, I can't take this... TRIP Uhh... GRACE Let's keep the focus on us, our relationship. TRIP Grace, I -- I want to take care of you... GRACE Trip... TRIP You've always wanted that, I know you did... GRACE Trip... George, we... uhh... GEORGE GET A DIVORCE TRIP Let's talk some more about us both. TRIP Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, and even though you redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is... you're not an artist. GRACE Uhh...! TRIP I'm sorry, you're not. GRACE George, uhh... GEORGE She's not TRIP No? GRACE Ah, thank you, you disagree, that might just help him! GRACE See, Trip, you have no idea what an artist is. GEORGE a GRACE You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'! TRIP What...? GRACE Trip, it is such an act! TRIP Oh my God... George, what... uhh... -- (interrupted) GEORGE I find everything about him stupid TRIP Hey, no, it's just going to make this whole thing even worse if you keep criticizing me! GEORGE GET A DIVORCE! GRACE Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us. TRIP It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it? GRACE Trip... TRIP Like I always have to convince you? GRACE George, you know, -- (interrupted) GEORGE You're a bad couple GRACE Look, you're going to really make it bad if you keep criticizing me! TRIP Okay, I've had enough of this bullstuff!! TRIP George, I know what you're hinting at... TRIP about me... TRIP about art... TRIP Do you really want the truth? Huh? TRIP George, do you want to hear it? GEORGE YES TRIP Grace, huh? GRACE Yes...! TRIP George, see I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying. TRIP You've really been pushing me tonight. TRIP And I wonder, are you really my friend or not. GRACE Trip! TRIP George, come on -- yes or no... TRIP Do you really think that... TRIP criticizing Grace... TRIP criticizing me... TRIP suggesting that we get divorced... TRIP and what you said about giving advice to your wife... TRIP that I'm supposed to realize something about myself from all that? TRIP Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something? GEORGE Yes TRIP Okay. TRIP Grace, I know you want to be an artist. TRIP But I could never be married to you if you were. GRACE What? TRIP I can't... I -- I just can't... GEORGE She's an artist GRACE But Trip -- TRIP When I married you, see, I was sure I could convince you to give it up, to -- to go into advertising. GEORGE GET A DIVORCE GRACE Uhh... TRIP And -- and I did it, and it worked. TRIP But now... I -- I don't know, Grace... TRIP (big sigh) I don't know... GRACE uhh... GRACE Oh my God...! TRIP George, I -- GRACE I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip. TRIP What?! GRACE I painted this. GEORGE It's HORRIBLE TRIP Bullstuff. GRACE I am an artist, Trip, forget you. TRIP You've been secretly painting? When -- GRACE Everytime you go on a goddamn business trip, I paint. TRIP Jesus -- GRACE So don't EVER give me any more of your 'you could never be an artist' crap!! GRACE uhh... GEORGE You should really divorce TRIP uhh... TRIP Jesus...! TRIP George, I, uhh... TRIP This changes everything... GRACE Yes, it does change everything. GRACE I think it's over. GEORGE It is TRIP Grace, w -- what -- GRACE No!! GRACE It's over, Trip, don't you see that? TRIP Wha... but you just said -- GRACE I just told you something about me I should have said a long time ago: GRACE I am an artist -- but y -- you can't see that. GRACE And no, George, hold on... TRIP Yes, and like I said... TRIP I can't be married to an artist. TRIP Grace, no, I... we... GRACE See, Trip, this is about me, as a person... and about you as a person... but it's -- GRACE not about us, about our marriage. I see that now... TRIP Us...? uh... Our marriage...? Wha... hey, no, wait! GRACE George, I'm sorry. Thank you, though, you really helped me. TRIP Grace! GEORGE You're welcome (Grace opens the front door.) TRIP Grace!! (Grace closes the front door.) TRIP Jesus Christ... GEORGE Hahahahah TRIP I should have told her that... TRIP I -- I could have told her that... GEORGE Run after her! |
| Sirrus:
Thanks to all who post their logs in 1 point font. Having to scroll through all those only marginally funny logs is so loving annoying. |
| Madmitten:
--- Quote from: Sirrus on March 20, 2011, 12:21:14 AM ---Thanks to all who post their logs in 1 point font. Having to scroll through all those only marginally funny logs is so loving annoying. --- End quote --- my browser has a thing that wont let any font go under 9pt god damnit |
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