i'm gonna dump my sorrows here
>recently dumped by ex gf
>sitting in cafe staring at my coffee
>notice girl at other table also alone staring at coffee mug
>notice she keeps glancing at me
>I catch her glance and smile and wave
>look back at coffee
>she comes over and sits
>she asks whats up
>tell her i got dumped
>she says she also just got dumped
>accidently catch a sight of her cleavage
>pop a boner, start sweating
>she notices and her hand crawls up my leg
>asks if i like it
>yes I like it
>she unzips my fly
>spaghetti Bolognese spills out onto floor
>in embarrassment I fart watery diarrhoea everywhere
>apologise
>my stuff is all over the windows and walls
>take off my sock to clean up the mess
>ask her if she will marry me
>she says no.
