So, uhm, who is Plethora's character? (I just joined a little while ago.)
Tri-war veteran who is walking around trying to build an army to systematically kill all the crazies (and maybe establish a military dictatorship after). I'm so mysterious because I'm not part of the group, which allows me to do minimal characterization and post when I want, not asking: "What did I miss?" every time I come back.
And also Plethora why do you not use quotes? Makes it really hard to distinguish conversation and action
It's funny, morn thinks so too. Yes, I suppose it does make it hard to understand, especially seeing that you have Beta talking in that novel version, Beta never talks; he's not mute like morn, but he doesn't talk.
Narrative usually starts my posts, then I skip a line and I start the talking. When it goes to the next line, it's the secondary character (Beta or stoner guy in that case). When I skip another line I've gone back to narrative or entered another conversation, context should make it obvious. Make more sense?
How novel version should have gone:
Beta and I catch up to the person we've been tailing.
"Good thing we didn't kill him in the dark last night. That would've been too bad," I say to Beta.
He nods in reply.
"Make ourselves known?" I ask.
Beta shakes his head and gestures for me to watch.
As we watch, the man wraps a cloth around his hand and punches the window in on a car after several thrusts of his fist. He unlocks the door and rummages around, and after finding little to nothing, he begins popping pills like they're M&Ms.
He had to be a stoner I say.
Beta rolls his eyes, impatient.
I sighs, and ask, "Now?"
He nods slowly, and I come out of where we were watching, and I yell, "Hey, you!"
The man jumps, startled by my sudden appearance. "Waddaya want, coot?"
I calmly ask, "How'd you like to join the army?"
He stares for a while, then finally says, "You some kinda lunatic or sumptn'?"
"No, why?" I reply.
"Deh army got dere asses 'anded to 'em, what make yeh think it'd be a good idea teh start da whole slaughter up again?"
"Because," I reply, condescendingly, "I can do things better."
The man chuckles, and challenges, "Realleh now? Care teh test that out?"
"Sure."
"I'm gonna come at chu, and if I kill yeh, you're wrong."
"Fair enough."
He waits, not doing anything for a few moments, then charges. I deliver a quick, nonlethal, punch to the throat, and he collapses, clutching at his neck. He looks like he's having trouble breathing, and between coughs, says, "A'ight, I'm willin' teh hear yeh out."
He passes out moments later.
Also, what's that accent you gave him, Scottish or Australian or something?
