How do I become better at starting and holding conversations?

[Shadowed999]

/title
I dont know what to do! I can't fuel a conversation or enter one or start one without saying something stupid or irrelevent. I seem to be a bore, also. This applies to the internet, also.



Halp :(

[Ad Bot]

[Ben Grapevine]

It depends on who you are talking to.  Ask questions that could get people going for a while like, "what are you taking in school?  Why did you pick those courses?  Should I take something like that?" and the questions just roll

[WALK2222]

here you go

[AdinX]

be spontaneous, ask questions, answer your own questions if they answer and THEN they pause (aka they answer, stop talking. That means your turn.)
Ask about things that you think will interest them. For instance, if you're talking with a girl, odds are she could care less about your CoD KDR, bring up something like favorite bands or similar, safe subjects.

I dunno lol, if all else fails just say something strange. (Nothing creepy strange. Don't say something like "I forgeted a kangaroo with a PCP pipe in Antarctica once.") Catching people off guard has been a fairly good conversation starter for me.

Then again, these are kinda just the things I do, doesn't mean they'll work for anyone in particular. Though really the best way to improve your ability to talk and hold a convo is talk to yourself in the mirror. I do it for maybe 10 minutes at night, if my parents ask I just say I'm thinking out loud. They aren't bothered by it.

[dotdothexagon]

Alright lets see here. You can read all the advice you want online but you will really only get better if you actually start conversing with people. Initially, you have to learn how to shut the forget up. If you don't know how to be quiet and listen to what other people have to say, then you will never be a good conversation partner. Now, there are two polarizing extremes of shutting the forget up: you can either never be quiet and hog the conversation time or you can barely say anything. Sometimes you have to actually take a conversation to one of these extremes if YOUR conversation partner is stuffty and you want/have to continue but usually you'll just come off as annoying. Generally, after you have timing and how long you talk down it's generally best to follow the "act interested, not interesting" policy when talking to someone new. If there is ever an awkward silence during a conversation, just ask the person more about themselves instead of the situation at hand. Remember: one of the favorite things that people like to talk about is themselves. Now, I don't have a problem with talking about irrelevant things but if the conversation drifts its alright. I mean, you can follow a stream of consciousness in which you keep building on the previous discussion topic idea by bringing up something somewhat related but you don't want to be the only one who changes the topic. Just play it by ear.

If you think that you're being boring and have nothing to talk about, then you probably will want to get interesting! (Great advice, right?) Anyway, it could help if you read the news, read some books, think about different things. Of course, the 'interesting information' that you may pick up from such practices may be boring to some people, it could be fascinating to others. The thing to remember is that everyone is different. This is a pretty cursory explanation of basic conversationalism, and a lot of it is self explanatory. I think the best advice that I can give is to get better via practice and actual conversations.

tl;dr: I forgeted a dog while high and then got stabbed by a drug dealer

[AdinX]

I skipped straight to the tl;dr, kept a straight face, read your entire post and then laughed hysterically.

[Shadowed999]

Alright, the prior post are helpful, but I don't see how loving a dog while high and then getting stabbed by a drug dealer will help...

[shyGriff]

same
the solution: don't talk to people

[AdinX]

same
the solution: don't talk to people

I started to read that as
"simple
We kill the batman"

How's that plan workin out for ya?

[RedGajin]

wait but
but aren't you black too :(

but forget man, the best way is just to talk more i guess. hang with your friends and be more social, initiate some convo. you cant expect to be a good speaker if you aren't confident, being self conscious about what your saying usually causes you to either 1. be incredibly boring or 2. be incredibly untalkative

there are also some things you really DONT do when talking to other people. 99% of the time you aren't talking to people you are down to earth almost from the same womb close with, so you have to be careful.

1. dont get personal - no one wants  to hear about your stuff, it makes things awkward, and makes people feel bad about themselves and turn it around on you.

2. dont be THAT GUY - that condescending guy that no one likes and always make the dumb comments, people sometimes say things you dont agree with, dont argue with everything. someone likes the color green, dont go into how you think blue is better and green is gay. it makes you look like a cigarette.

3. smile, laugh, agree - im not saying just kissass to everyone, but if you appear negative in your conversations, then no one wants to talk to you. if someone tells a joke, and its NOT the funniest thing you've ever heard, dont just sit their because its not movie quality, you can still laugh. its always really awkward when you tell a joke and then there is that guy not smiling or anything just looking off.

4. dont be weird - shouldnt really have to say this, but i mean dont say weird stuff. censor yourself, no one wants to hear about how you almost ate your own stuff last night or how you had a wet dream about the chick next to you. dont make things awkward, and dont "be yourself" if you are a complete cigarette to start off with.

idk just throwing some stuff out there, might vary depending on what kind of crowd you hang with but seems pretty universal.

[SlayerZ99]

Im horrible sometimes because I dont have a lot in common with people at my school.

But Im great because Im funny and can come up with funny things right on the spot

[Katadeus]

I make strange noises and people laugh

[Bisjac]

a problem many people have is they talk about themselves to much.
stuff they did stuff they plan to do. ugh

hate people like that. dont volunteer tons of information. some people feel the need to share to much.

[Katadeus]

I'm usually willing to allow people to just vent or monologue for quite some time. I occasionally will volunteer an opinion to keep it from being awkward.