Is that why you said you would get hard thinking about it
You guys won't understand the situation I had with Axolotl, its too upside down and all over the place.
The dream was sensationalized and I never actually got hard off it per se, I was just using it to appeal to Axolotl's salamander special interest to try and get closer to him as I felt he was being colder and colder with me. I did have the intention of being friends with Axolotl, and he was aware of my lucid dreaming interest. I did indeed have a monster rape dream of sorts though, but it wasn't nearly as lovey or interesting as I made it sound.
I do have a special interest or two but I wouldn't post them online. Axolotl is a flagship for the special interest thread on the forum, so if I was going to be truly open to anyone about that sort of stuff it wouldn't be him. I know he seems to talk about special interestes a lot to people, it just seemed logical to fabricate something that could accurately hit that nail on the head.
There is nothing he posted here that I'm uncomfortable with because I'm not entirely surprised he did post it. Imo he was always likely to spill the beans, which is why I humored a lot of what he said with faces "o3o" or didn't directly respond to it. Frankly, I became less and less comfortable as I realized this wasn't banter.
People always do ironic love RP or jokes in BL, but something told me Axo was being less and less ironic. I had to speak with him once to try and even this out with him before after he started getting very strange with me.
It is also to my understanding he is "afraid of love" so again, I tried to appear also nervous about aspects of it as well so he'd trust me a little more. In many ways, this was deceptive and engineered, but take note this was only after I had learned he was a bit of a psychopath so it was all with good intention. Its to my opinion he lies about this himself though, so its a bit of a web of forgetery.
Ultimately, it didn't help me get much closer to him. By that time I was already aware he was a little unstable thanks to closer online friends of his, so I the reason I haven't flipped out is because I'm not 100% surprised at what happened.
People will think whatever they want of the chat logs, they weren't designed for others to read let alone use in a drama topic. This isn't the first time something I've said has been used out of context or misapplied, it won't be the last..
Ultimately this thread is little more than unfortunate. Its a shame Axo had to snap, but Juicebox² suggesting we were 'very close' is not as true as it should have been.
