I got a joke for ya.
A captain was on his ship heading toward enemy lines. His skipper comes up and says "Captain! there is a ship on the horizon!" So the captain says to the skipper "Bring me my red shirt!" The two ships fight and they win. The skipper than asked his captain why he asked him to bring him his red shirt. The captain said "So that if I got shot, they would think I died and left."
20 days later
The skipper says to the captain "Captain! there are 100 ships on the horizon!" The captain says to the skipper "Bring me my brown pants."
I got another one.
A boy and his dad go onto a fishing trip together. The dad grabs a beer and starts to drink it. The son then says "Can I have one?" the dad asks him "Can your richard touch your ass?" "Well no" His son said. His dad then said "Then you're not old enough." Later on, the dad pulls out a cigar and begins to smoke it. the son asks his dad "Can I have one?" and again his dad says "Can your richard touch your ass?" "No." then once again his dad says "Then you are too young." Time passes and the dad pulls out a playboy magazine. The son then asks "Can I have one?" The dad again says "Can your richard touch your ass?" "No." then once again the dad says "then you are too young." They drive home and the son, after a disapointing day, grabs a glass of milk and some oreos. His dad walks in and says "Can I have some" the son asks "Can your richard touch your ass?" the dad repliues "Yes it can son." The son then says "Good, go forget yourself these are my oreos."
