"Candy Corn is my diet.
I eat 100 pieces a day.
My dentist said I am the first person to ever have tooth cancer.
My doctor said that if I do not stop eating Candy Corn, I will be dead by the age of 2008.
So I switched to a different type of Candy Corn and my immune system has been boosted by 400%.
I am now famous for being the 'Candy Corn Survivor'.
But my fame eventually died out, at least I have a cool mansion.
The cycle repeats every week.
This is my life."
