http://denver.craigslist.org/bus/4274144454.html Dear Sir or Madam, it has come to my attention that you seek 5 shark individuals who can assist you in your economic endeavors, well I’m happy to announce that you will now only need 4 shark individuals. Please continue to read if you truly are looking for a shark person who will exceed all qualifications.Andrej Dauthard7800 E Hampden Ave #54, Denver, CO 80237Tel: (303) 740-9556Axxxxx.com_____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ ______________My name is andrej Dauthard, I am a fully grown Carcharhinus Leucas Vir (or bull shark man if you will.) I am applying today because I belive that out of all the bull shark men out there today, I am the most qualified Public Relations manager you will find in the whole ocean, I understand that most who apply are in it for "huge celery, beneful, company car and vacations" but don't want to work for it. I will tell you now that I will work myself to the bone, but not because I want to eat dog food, I care not for a huge celery, for I am a carnivore and eat only meat. I care not for a company car as I am just as fast as one and can not operate one with my tail fins, this also means I do not kick tires. If you are truelly interested in finding a shark person please read my skills and history below, mullet over and let minnow._____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ ____________Work History Indian Ocean: Public Relations, 7 yearsDuties included: Finding and detaching infected limbs of humans in order to prevent life threatening desieses and infections from spreading, increasing the overall health of Kenya by 70% resulting in higher tourist rates and raising Kenya to the number 2 spot of "most pleasant places to be". Nunagas: Fish packing, 4 daysDuties included: The preparation of fish to be packed and loaded to be shipped to other countries. Workplace racism took place against me and I was let go on suspicion of stealing product. I have no excuses, I am an honest worker and would never steal workplace materials. Orca Loans: Loan officer, 3 daysDuties included: The consulting and signing off on loans. I was promptly fired for telling customers I was the new loan shark, I am still currently awaiting an offishal reason for unfairly being fired._____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ __________Skills Ability to work day or night, including weekends. Extraordinary people skills, No one has every disagreed with me after I've shown my warm and caring smile. Extensive work historyAlso attached is a letter of recommendation from the owner of Indian ocean and my bull shark cousin, Carfonicus. If his handwriting is a little hard to read, please contact me and I would be happy to translate, I know Carfonicus's flipper writing is a little over detailed.
To: 4538e748dde237198966ad3ae7456 f11@reply.craigslist.orgPicture of craigslist 4274144454Can you come in for an interview tomorrow at 11am?Sent from my iPad
Dear Sir or Madam;It has come to my attention that you are in fact looking for Sharp people and not Shark people, I am embarrassed about this misreading as I had not been wearing my glasses at the time. I would like to give you my deepest apologies about the confusion.That being said, I would now like to ask you to forget about my two letters and not inform the government about my presence, as I fear what would happen should they learn of my people. In return for you silence I am prepared to ship to you 25 red saddle backs, they are a delicacy among my kind and are very important to me as having such a large quantity of said fish determines the social standing amongst bull shark men.However, if you are willing to excuse my poor eyesight and the fact that I am a Bull shark man, I am still more then willing to work for you and would be happy to come in for a interview.
oh sure you joke around and you get a job, i joke around and i dont get diddly squat
