None of the therapists helped because there is nothing wrong with your mental health. You are romanticizing mental illness for attention and excuses for bad behavior. I've done the same stuff before, it gets you nowhere except in deeper stuff. Unless there is a documented mental illness called 'edgy', there is nothing wrong with your head. You just really like weird loveual stuff, that's cool, we all have a weird special interest in one way or another. But we learned to shut the forget up about it, because there are more interesting aspects to our personalities other than what we like to jerk off to.
The reason why you cannot leave the forum is because when you do you realize you have absolutely nothing else to do. You are bored. Go ride a bike, talk to a friend, play a video game or something. You'll forget about the forum altogether when you're doing these things.
