Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a story I have dubbed:
Man of Greasin'
One bright sunny day, a neckbeardling alone in his dark room
his fingers greasy, smearing the keyboard
tapping away
occasionally bashing his face on the keyboard
he clacks one final key
and launches a ddos on his arch enemy
a tiny game forum including the master server
as he smugingly leans back looking at the ceiling
he hears a call
its his mother
the hotpockets are ready
but soon
the cops are knocking on the door
his mother answers
and he hears the fateful call
"MoRton GET THE forget UP THE STAIRS"
as he waddles quickly, sweating with grease up the stairs
he sees a man in blue and a letter
it's the cops and the letter is from his ISP
His fat, sasuage fingers grasp the letter
sweating with fear, he proceeds to read the letter
It says: "Your internet service has been suspended for 12 months due to numerous reports of ddosing, on further evaluation you are, in fact, ddosing."
His greasy grin turns quickly into a frown
The cop proceeds to handcuff him.
The small of his grease disgusts the cop.
The smell is so revolting that a hazmat team has been called in
The smell of the grease even penetrating the hazmat suit.
The hazmat team, struggling to stand the stench manage to cuff the greasy child
they grab him, and escort the chubby boy to the cop car
at the last moment however
he turns back and watches his mother
she drops the hotpockets, with tears in her eyes
This is the picture of the kid who made the wrong decisions
Remember kids,
Don't DDoS
