Toad stood there at the edge of his defining prowess, the kingdom he finally won over the war of Shrek. The sun just glistening over the short, crumbly rail that was just tall enough to hold Toad back from the height that would only end up mistaking him multiple times over.
He let out a short, gnarly sigh.
The empire of his grown over time, providing many with homes and protection from the Swamp.
Stepping down from his awkward step-stool of a throne, he saw one of the Smrattes coming from over the horizon.
Grey, short and wide - eyed, it was obviously in sight of Toad’s head.
Carrying a mailbag across its saddle, it stuck its snout down into the bag and graciously pulled out a letter - dropping it and having it almost off the rail on the edge of the tower - grabbed it and nudged it towards king Toad.
The purple pink wax stamp on the crest of the letter only messaged to Toad one thing. Urgency. Queen P. Smart would never send a message of help towards the empire of Toade.
With his stubby fingers, he reached into the dry, paper letter.
In atrocious handwriting, it only said one thing.
“help tumblrinas”
Toad’s face went blank. Across from the Swamp, there was a broken yet pink and glitter - filled land. Being an oligarchy, nobody was ever happy except for the five leaders of the land. The rest remained in shadows, beneath piles of glitter and always talked in mild whispers except for brief moments, where their yelling could be heard from the center of the swamp, of the awkward throat - clearing noise that went on infinitely as long as you remained knee - deep in the murky substance that clung to the swamp - floor.
Toad slammed his ink pen across the table and onto the mushroom - based paper that he invented.
-Signed, Toad.
He got a Toadette Flyer to get the letter to Queen P. Smart, and threw his cape diligently across the tower. He pulled out a two - foot longsword, with the engraving of the sacred mushroom strewn across the hilt.
“To the land of Tumblrend.”
Toad smiled. Treading through the Swamp was incredibly painful the first time. Shrek was a god, after all. Many men from 4chaniana still remained angry at the sight of Shrek’s death, and crippled into deformed, useless incarnations of themselves the second he died. The death of the VFV Legion caused 4chaniana to split, and Imgurn fell as soon as it did. As same as Equda, PChan and other legions related to itself. While most of them that died were related to the Questratte territory, others died. Others formed allegiance with the territory.
Shrek played god too many times, and while Toad had slain him, the Government of Tumblrend took all the credit. The MLG movement attempted to rebel against Tumblrend, however, leaving them in a dormant state until, and apparently killing the MLG movement, creating the Fedoritos militia. All strapped with guns and in striking rows, they were quite ready for another war of Tumblrend. However, Smratt killed them on sight of the kingdom, killing off most members. All left was Anon and the legendary Gaben. Anon, being a lone wolf, beared a gold and sharpened hammer. Gaben wielded a suit of fashionable gold armor and a dented, chipped red crowbar.
And Lenny. But the Lenniends were past dead.
Toad screamed in his nasally voice at the Mushroom Gatekeeper. “OPEN THE GATE!” The ropes surrounding the edges of the gate slid rounds against the circle of the shackle holding the gate closed. The gate’s spears broke out of their dormant state, and rose to the top of the gate tower. Bells rang in the distance.
“OUR KING IS LEAVING!”
Toad secured his golden sword against his belt and sheath. The brown path awaited his adventure, against Tumblrend and the rest of the IWBBWOSLN.
~
The Swamp of All things Ogre was beheld by Toad’s smooth and tired face. (Yes, his face can be both at once.) The vines and disgusting onion stench were already in sight (and smell!) for the unnerving trek that Toad was moments before facing.
It was long. Murky and damp. The deep mud trail felt unbelievably similar to the texture of rice pudding. Eyes specked the thick and slimy vines that caved the trail in.
Whispers of “It’s all ogre” and “our ogrelords are gone” could be heard from inches away.
Pushing through the brambles and vines of the swamp, Toad finally reached an empty, yet murky clearing. Around him beheld eyes that all stared in his direction. The yellow slits glaring, as if to pounce. But almost every eye ceased to exist; closed as if awaiting a disaster. The swamp floor grumbled.
Toad stared upwards at the rising object, mouth agape. Almost yanking his sword from its sceath, his eyebrows turned down into a determined frown. The two foot, golden and bejeweled sword was held, hilt perpendicular to Toad’s shoulder, and point aimed at the mysterious object, Toad charged. And the second the sword pierced the outer shell of grime, surrounding the most devious of all creatures, he was flung back with incredible force.
And from that shell, hatched Shrek. Toad, on the slimy surface of the swamp, sat back holding onto his gold sword with full hope that Shrek would not pass his judgement upon the sight of his baby - face.
