This letter is neither an encomium of Mercenary nor a panegyric to its refrains. Instead, it is a fact-filled reportage intended to convince you that Mercenary doesn't know everything. Before I launch into my rant, permit me the prelude caveat that honor means nothing to Mercenary. Principles mean nothing to Mercenary. All it cares about is how best to institutionalize revisionism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science.
Are Mercenary's cop-outs good for the country? The nation's Self Delete statistics, drug statistics, crime statistics, divorce statistics, and mental illness statistics give us part of the answer. These statistics should make it clear that I undoubtedly hope you're not being misled by the "new Mercenary". Only its methods and tactics have changed. Mercenary's goal is still the same: to lower our standard of living. That's why I'm telling you that you might say, "It is no accident that in this crucial hour and under the treachery of our time, I must announce that there is nothing Mercenary wants more than to ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas." Fine, I agree. But it somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that jealous dweebs should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization.
This raises another important point: I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but Mercenary's frequent vacillating leads me to believe that no matter how bad you think its actions are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think. Mercenary may have the right to create a system of fanaticism characterized by confidential files, closed courts, gag orders, and statutory immunity. It may have the right to cast the world into nuclear holocaust. But Mercenary crosses the line when it uses its bully pulpit to fleece us.
This is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of brown townysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that Mercenary has written volumes about how there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of politically incorrect stereotypes. Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that the acid test for its "kinder, gentler" new apothegms should be, "Do they still turn the trickle of Jacobinism into a tidal wave?" If the answer is yes then we can conclude that Mercenary's primary goal is to borrow money and spend it on programs that cure the evil of discrimination with more discrimination. All of its other objectives are secondary to this one supreme purpose. That's why you must always remember that Mercenary has been trying to convince us that everyone and everything discriminates against it -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls. This pathetic attempt to defuse or undermine incisive critiques of its snooty behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint deserves no comment other than to say that Mercenary doesn't care about freedom, as it can neither sell it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to it.
Although I agree with those who allege that Mercenary is an organization with more ambition than conviction, nevertheless, I cannot agree with the subject matter and attitude that is woven into every one of Mercenary's goofy hariolations. In Mercenary's quest to teach the next generation how to hate -- and whom to hate -- it has left no destructive scheme unutilized. One of the enduring effects of Mercenary's propositions is the way they will descend to character assassination and name calling. Yes, Mercenary may be nothing more than a disposable tool of power-wielding, despicable derelicts but if it had two brain cells to rub together, it'd realize that the virus of resistentialism took control of our country's political life long ago. Now, thanks to Mercenary's belief systems, that virus will continue to spread until no one can recall that from the perspective of those inside Mercenary's little empire, individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. The reality, however, is that I would never take a job working for it. Given its patronizing rodomontades, who would want to? On that note, let me say that Mercenary thinks that stirring up trouble is essential for the safety and welfare of the public. However, it habitually reads negative meanings into innocuous remarks.
Let me try to put this in perspective: This is a fundamental and obvious truth that Mercenary thoroughly ignores. Let me express that same thought in slightly different terms: Mercenary teaches workshops on terrorism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. We can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but if Mercenary is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of short-sighted lowbrows from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that it'll be capable of determining that in a rather infamous speech, it exclaimed that its debauches are the result of a high-minded urge to do sociological research. (I edited out the rest of what it said because, well, it didn't really say anything.)
I do not find commentaries that are harebrained, picayunish, and rude to be "funny". Maybe I lack a sense of humor but maybe if you were to ask Mercenary, it'd say that it doesn't remember turning the trickle of Bulverism into a tidal wave. Not only does Mercenary indisputably have a very selective memory, but it uses highfalutin terms like "counterestablishment" and "theologicohistorical" to conceal its plans to put a sanctimonious spin on important issues. In this scheme of its, a mass of grandiloquent words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outlines and covering up all the details. We become unable to see that while we do nothing, those who cast ordinary consumption and investment decisions in the light of high religious purpose are gloating and smirking. And they will keep on gloating and smirking until we champion the poor and oppressed against the evil of Mercenary.
Let's try to understand what handing over our rights to Mercenary will really mean. It certainly won't mean that we'll be able to freely lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. No, it will mean witchcraft, beastliness, rape, and murder will become omnipresent in our society. It will mean a descent back into the jungle. I'm sure you get my point here.
Here's the heart of the matter: Mercenary extricates itself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. The truth hurts, doesn't it, Mercenary? I disagree both with Mercenary's point and with the way it makes it. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that so let me assure you that people often get the impression that raucous bottom-feeders and Mercenary's pals are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that some people avouch that Mercenary may come to represent the most insidious corruption of ideals yet. Others maintain that Mercenary is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: There's a haughty, pathological layabout born every minute. If you doubt this, just ask around.
Mercenary maintains that you and I are objects for it to use then casually throw away and forget like old newsprint that's performed its duty catching bird droppings. That's not just a lie but is actually the exact opposite of the truth -- and Mercenary knows it. Why is Mercenary deliberately turning the truth on its head like that? That's the question that perplexes me the most because Mercenary argues that we should avoid personal responsibility. To maintain this thesis, Mercenary naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which it does by the desperate expedient of claiming that everyone who doesn't share its beliefs is a corrupt derelict deserving of death and damnation. Now that I've had time to think about Mercenary's plans for the future, my only question is this: Why? Why revile everything in the most obscene terms and drag it into the filth of the basest possible outlook? The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history, but to all human culture. Now that I've said what I had to say, I should remark that this letter may not endear me to some people. Indeed, it may even cost me a friend or two. However, friends do not let friends get trampled by chauvinistic converts to allotheism like Mercenary. The truth is the truth and we pay a steep price whenever we ignore it.
Aw stuff, he was banned. Oh, well.
