When I was about eight, my dad's best friend from grade school was over at our house (usually to help my dad build his custom Mustang engine). I was scared silly of the guy though. He always shaved completely bald (although he was in his 20s), had enormous bushy eyebrows, and his eye width was less than that of his eyebrows too. Anyway, I was walking into the kitchen (on my way to the bathroom) where my dad and his friend were sitting at the table talking. As I stepped into the kitchen, I dropped a large turd that was much more slippery than I thought. Now this one was banana sized, not just an "oopsy". I froze in my tracks. My dad looked back at me and said, "What are you doing?" Embarrassed to my core and fearful of my dad's friend finding out, I casually said, "Nothing." And sorta waddled backwards. The movement caused the turd to break apart and an enormous chunk slid down my leg and onto the floor. I knew I needed help and moved my foot in front of my prize to block it. I got my dad close enough to me to whisper the situation, to which he sighed in utter disgust and inconspicuously picked it up in a paper towel. I trudged off to the bathroom to further handle the situation. I think I hid from my dad for the remainder of the day, and whenever his friend came over after that, I hid in a closet or another room.
