I've had this problem these past couple years where I can never find people who share my interests. I have plenty of friend-ish people I hang out with, but we almost never have any common ground. The best friends I've ever had are ones I can nerd out to about whatever bullstuff I talk about, but I always feel hypocritical about not being able to treat people just like me as good. Same issue with girls usually, I never have anything "interesting" to say. Don't get me wrong, I'm not like awkward and unsociable, and I can hold a conversation, but I always get this nagging feeling that I'm boring them and that I need to shut up. Honestly, I probably am a pretty boring person, and I hate that.
Semi-Related problem: I am incapable of being mad. People tend to walk all over me because of it. A group of friends I made during my short time in theater when I was crew for a play like to talk down to me over text all the time, and even though I don't complain, it hurts. I just don't have it in me to make a stand over it, because at this point it doesn't make any sense to be mad about it. People also tend to pity me so much because I'm quiet or something, but I hate that. I wanted to talk to them I would, I don't want them to feel obligated to talk to me because I'm minding my own business. I can't get upset at them for it, they're only trying to help and then I'd be the richard, but I hate it.
Tangentially Related problem: When I was about 12-13 I decided that I was done being a quiet boring little stuff my whole life. By and large, I think this was the best thing I ever did. I got big into PC gaming, where I could be whoever I wanted to be. It worked, incredibly well. I met people then I still keep up with today, people I like more than anyone I know in real life. What I didn't think about it how much easier it is to be all confidant behind a screen. I tried this last year and earlier this year to be that person I pretended to be, and I didn't have the energy in me to keep it up. I didn't want to be the loud mouth cool kid anymore, and being surrounded by "friends" was terrifying because I was afraid that one day they'd ask me something and I would slip up and everyone would step back and say "Oh. You're that kid." Eventually I backed out of that and left, but was really scares me is that I don't feel like I know who I am. My actually interesting, self confidant personality still exists but I don't know where that ends and "real" me starts. Old me was way more interesting and it's way easier to make friends being that person, and it scares the stuff out of me that I'll always be alone because when it comes down to it, I'm just not interesting.
