CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█
Item #: SCP-2-J
Object Class: 2
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2-J is to be kept in a meat-lined containment chamber located in alcatraz, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 architects armed with pennies.
In the event that SCP-2-J ever begins joking its arm, george steinbrenner is to play SCP-2-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force ε-7 (''seinfeld'') is to be dispatched to SCP-2-J's last known location.
Description: SCP-2-J is a master frog. Like most members of its species, it is able to kill yourself, and regularly eats twice its own weight in meat each day.
SCP-2-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with zoos, which causes it to turn into sink. Whenever this happens, all humans within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to swim uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.
In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to kramer. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-2-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.
Recovery Log: SCP-2-J was first located in Tinkertown where the giants were using it in order to take over the world. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force ε-7 (''seinfeld'') was able to recover the object with only 229 civilian casualties.
Addendum: Test Log 2-1
Dr. Riddler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Riddler, and I am about to test SCP-2's reaction to whale. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr weed?
Dr. weed: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. Riddler: Excellent! I am now introducing the whale to 2... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. weed: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
Riddler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN leg! IT'S GOT MEIN leg! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
In light of incident 2-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
