for honor
uh oh we are now boarding the controversy express next stop buyers remorse because i am about to blow your mind by going against mainstream reviews and calling motherforgeters out. for honor is a 3d fighting game where you play as an episode of deadliest warrior and duke it out in the ultimate historically accurate fanwank death battle between the top three warrior societies neckbeards are most likely to compare power levels of. you and your friends who played the beta might reasonably assume that the game has some future as its mechanics are deep enough to carry it but you'd be loving wrong. ubisoft has pulled the bag over you by having a short as forget beta where most people have barely realized the mechanics and assume low level slugfests carry on to high level play but theyre loving w r o n g and i am here to loving prove it.
just to make things clear i am easily one of the most baller for honor players of all time because of how shallow this loving game is and none of the mechanics i am about to let loose on were changed for the main release. i am so good that i even made a post about it before summarizing my problems with this game so you dont even have to read the review
from what i've gathered from my rather limited playtime with only a few classes the game is inherently defensive. on reaction, all attacks can be parried or blocked and all guard breaks can be countered so its feasible to believe that really good players will be doing all that constantly like motherforgeters during ubisoft's inevitable push to make this an esport. im not sure if there is any game changing class with sublime offensive options in the works or in the roster already so feel free to correct me
i was more right than i ever imagined.
to start off even comprehending how bad this game is we must first get acquainted with the base mechanics. players are able to attack and block in three directions by moving the mouse/stick in that direction and doing the button. players attack with light or heavy attacks, some special moves which require specific inputs, and a guard break. the guard break is the most notable as it is the only way to breach a block besides some extremely telegraphed unblockables. some attacks can be strung together to form combos or some stuff and the specials between characters whatever the forget it doesn't loving matter.
you're probably thinking oh man there sure are a lot of moves for me to loving use this game sure has a lot of loving variety or some bullstuff but you are wrong once a-loving-gain dipstuff. the two mechanics i have not mentioned to intentionally befuddle you are parrying and counter guard breaking. parrying is done by strong attacking in the direction of an incoming move when its close to hitting to both block the move and put the attacker into a stun, allowing a free punish. the risk of parrying is that if you forget up the timer you are guaranteed to eat stuff but parrying is so loving easy it breaks the loving game. 99% of attacks in the game can be parried on reaction with ease because 99% of them are loving slow as stuff. this one mechanic has made almost every attack in the game utterly worthless because throwing anything out is free damage for the other guy. unless you has ultra bullstuff fast attacks there is not a chance in hell you will get one in against anyone who can actually play the game.
"but destroyer there is a guard break that breaks the never attack meta" well that stuff is forgeted too by something called the loving counter guard break. when you are going in for a guard break against an opponent who is not stunned there is a window where the opponent is able to press the guard break button to cancel getting guard broken. yes this window is wide enough to react to. both of these master techniques combine to make a game where you can do absolutely loving nothing without being at a disadvantage. the ultimate strategy is to stare at your opponent for 10 minutes like its some kind of mexican loving standoff except everyone involved is bored to tears. if this stuff actually required reads or superhuman reflexes to pull off i wouldn't be bitching but the timers are just so loving lenient that anyone can do it.
now i know what you filthy casuals are thinking; "but destroyer i dont parry or counter guard break and i dont even play with people who do so none of that stuff matters" guess what in the coming weeks youre forgeted. the for honor metagame will move slowly across the land like some stuff glacier destroying everything in its path. more and more players realize the metagame and adapt to the highly defensive style because its the most optimal stuff ever. in about two weeks when all the bored people and bandwagoners forget off the only ones left will be the most lethal masters of the staring contest poised to forget up anyone that dares press buttons. this game costs $60 by the way
other dumb stuff includes environmental kills which are just complete bullstuff to the max. you know how in mario you can die instantly if you fall in a hole, well this game has that and you throw people into the holes often with one one read completely cheesing the forget out of people. while this stuff isn't too bad if the maps don't have a lot of stuff to throw people into, there are quite a few ready to swallow up any idiot foolish enough to not get the first guard break in. the stamina meter is loving stupid too you actually get /punished even more for attacking/ as that uses stamina and when you run out of the stuff you get all slow and weak. this is mostly irrelevant because strings longer than one put the user at risk of the parry so you cant even run out of stamina by playing optimally. plus even when you are out the only thing affected is your attacks, you can defend just fine while waiting for that stuff. its still loving annoying and you don't lose stamina for defending.
most of the review is written with 1v1s in mind since i frankly don't give a stuff about the other modes but i suppose i should cover combat with more than two parties. if you ever find yourself fighting multiple people you are forgeted offensively and have to constantly block or parry stuff until you build up a "revenge meter" aka some kind of comeback mechanic that regens health and increases damage and stuff for a short time. its a really loving hamfisted recovery mode that rewards people standing back like pussies even more than usual because fighting 2+v1 is basically loving impossible; you will get swarmed with enough attacks to prevent you from attacking back. hell from what i've seen revenge mode isn't even that good you can still block/parry/counter guard break everything a revenged person throws. the worst revenge modes are when some guy in a1v1 pops it and all hes been doing is just blocking your stuff because defending is the only way to build meter right i forgot to mention that forget you ubisoft.
i haven't played the single player but the cutscenes and plot are atrocious and i don't want to spend $60 to play what is likely tacked on bullstuff. don't buy this game unless major loving patches come up that fix all this stuff but they won't. also ubisoft is selling a season pass for fourty loving smackaroos at launch like will there even be $40 of dlc. what the forget. this game certainly has the potential to not be stuff and is enjoyable on a lower level for its viscerality alone but without major changes its dead in the loving water and really not worth your money. if you were seduced by the beta either hold out for a month and see what they fix or buy now to get your 15 minutes of fun before the meta sets in
decent tier
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