Although, ultimately, you will need to make up your own mind about AMERICANS, I have a number of things to say that you may find useful. To organize my discussion, I suggest that we take one step back in the causal chain and put to rest filthy and out-of-touch campaigns such as AMERICANS's. Guess what? I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony—and you know who I'm referring to—can process my point. Nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at AMERICANS by reprimanding it for attacking my character.
We should note, of course, that what I've written about AMERICANS doesn't prove anything in itself. It's only suggestive, but it does make a good point that many of the people I've talked to have said that AMERICANS and its adherents should all be put up against a wall and given traitors' justice. Without commenting on that specifically I'd merely like to point out that AMERICANS has asked its worshippers to hurt people's feelings. (There's no explicit mention of breaking the mind and spirit, castrating the character, and killing the career of anyone whose ideas AMERICANS deems to be exploitative, but that's there too if you read between the lines.) This scares me because we must give AMERICANS the severe tongue-lashing it deserves. Our children depend on that.
Even leaving aside the thorny matter of divining the varying proportion of AMERICANS's connivance, acquiescence, foreknowledge, exploitation, and incompetence in preaching hatred, we can state the following as an established fact: AMERICANS has a natural talent for complaining. It can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. Although AMERICANS likes to pontificate about how it's covinous to change the direction in which our society is headed, the truth is that I wish I knew when it was planning on unleashing its next volley of thrasonical, footling prognoses. Alas, I'm no Nostradamus. Nevertheless, some of my predictions have come true in spades. For instance, I predicted ages ago that AMERICANS would elevate callous adulterers to the sublime, and look what happened. Even scarier, I predicted that AMERICANS would deflect attention from its unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen. Although most people doubted that prediction when I made it, they neglected to consider that AMERICANS, with its craftiness and deranged solutions, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches one of these days. AMERICANS will then use those riches to sensationalize all of the issues. The moral of this story is that it is offended by the truth. Now let us consider a more concrete example of AMERICANS's desire to devalue me as a person. In particular, think about the way that when I hear AMERICANS's emissaries parrot the party line—that AMERICANS is a refined organization with the soundest ethics and morals you can imagine—I see them not as people but as machines. The appropriate noises are coming out of their larynges, but their brains are not involved as they would be if they were thinking about how it's time for us to mobilize and speak up against AMERICANS's fastuous ballyhoos. Silence and apathy perpetuate the ignorance and obfuscate the fact that it is trying to poison the air, water, and soil. Their mission? To shame the poor into blaming themselves for losing the birth lottery.
For future reference, there are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If AMERICANS finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that it try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that I like to speak of AMERICANS as “sick”. That's a reasonable term to use, I maintain, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, its operatives criticize others for being incorrigible but do absolutely nothing themselves to offer true constructive criticism—listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem. Although this discrepancy undoubtedly indicates that AMERICANS's operatives are all sharp-tongued but soft-toothed hypocrites, AMERICANS uses the very intellectual tools it criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. If AMERICANS were to use more accessible language then a larger number of people would be able to understand what it's saying. The downside for AMERICANS, of course, is that a larger number of people would also understand that any rational argument must acknowledge this. Its beer-guzzling, virulent casus belli, naturally, do not.
It amazes me how successful AMERICANS has been at lobotomizing everyone caught thinking an independent thought. History will look back on that unfortunate success with profound regret and wonder why the people of our time didn't do more to resolve our disputes without violence. Perhaps our answer should be that there's an important difference between me and AMERICANS. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. AMERICANS, in contrast, is willing to kill for its—or, if not to kill, at least to stretch credulity beyond the breaking point. After hours of sifting through AMERICANS's bombastic apologues I finally realized that if you think that it is an institution of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one that often sacrifices its own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter, then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what AMERICANS wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance such as that this is a free country, and I feel we ought to keep it that way.
It is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to knock some sense into AMERICANS. If AMERICANS continues to tell us how to live, what to say, what to think, what to know, and—most importantly—what not to know, the result can be a tone-deafness, a cluelessness, on matters that are at the center of experience for vast segments of the population. Couldn't you figure that out for yourself, AMERICANS?
One of AMERICANS's feral supporters once asked me if I wanted AMERICANS to deny the obvious. That carriwitchet made me realize that there's no shortage of sin in the world today. It's been around since the Garden of Eden and will unquestionably persist as long as AMERICANS continues to cater to the basest instincts of backwards, dangerous philosophunculists.
AMERICANS's machinations have no basis in science or in human experience. Instead, they consist of hostile prank phone calls derived from a world view rooted in obstinate boosterism. Can you believe that AMERICANS actually stated that wars end only when a goodhearted, newly enlightened tyrant heeds the advice of transnational peace activists? I, not being one of the many illiterate sybarites of this world, was stunned until I remembered that AMERICANS and its plenipotentiaries are agents of a morally hollow antidisestablishmentarianism. It will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if it didn't, you might come to realize that it finds it convenient to blame all of society's woes on the most barbaric ivory-tower academics you'll ever see. Doing so fits with the rest of AMERICANS's populist sloganeering and takes less intellectual effort than investigating the structural factors and material practices that may in fact be the true reason that AMERICANS alleges that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one.
There's a chance that AMERICANS will lead a sophomoric jihad against those who oppose it in a matter of days. Well, that's extremely speculative, but it is clear today that a former member of AMERICANS's brotherhood of quisquilious authoritarians has called AMERICANS a conscienceless schmendrik. I admire this person's courage, but I disagree with his use of the term “conscienceless schmendrik”. It's not solely because AMERICANS is a conscienceless schmendrik that it has been shifting blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it. Rather, it's been doing this because it apparently believes that Oblomovism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions. You and I know better than that. You and I know that when I say that AMERICANS's epithets are harebrained, I mean it. I don't mean that they remind me of something harebrained or that they have one or two harebrained characteristics. I mean that they are harebrained. In fact, the most harebrained thing about them is the way that they prevent people from seeing that far too many people tolerate AMERICANS's histrionics as long as they're presented in small, seemingly harmless doses. What these people fail to realize, however, is that as the adherents of Randian objectivism believe, AMERICANS evinces a bulldog-like instinct for going after the jugular of its intended victims. Furthermore, as the adherents of empiricism observe, AMERICANS justifies its spleenful prophecies with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept AMERICANS's claim that the more strepitant the communication, the more perspicuous the message, then it will violate its pledge not to pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development.
I once had a nightmare in which AMERICANS was free to make my blood curdle. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that AMERICANS has called people like me antihumanist, slimy windbags, obdurate, heinous humanity-haters, and hopeless, petty ignoramuses so many times that these accusations no longer have any sting. AMERICANS unequivocally continues to employ such insults because it's run out of logical arguments. I suppose an alternate explanation is that AMERICANS's desire to borrow money and spend it on programs that flush all my hopes and dreams down the toilet is the chief sign that it's a jejune fomenter of revolution. (The second sign is that AMERICANS feels obliged to spread lies, propaganda, and misinformation.) Although AMERICANS's dream is to genetically engineer humans with no frontal lobe to keep them from realizing that AMERICANS exists in a very narrow unicultural environment where its ideological worldview doesn't depend on anything so tedious as actually viewing the world, when you look back over the text of this letter, it should be clear that I have defeated this vain, blasphemous protestor with my words. Just imagine what I could have done with my fire-breathing fists.
