the text adventure mode experience

[Eon]

feast on the floor tiles

[Ad Bot]

[Kidalex90]

feast on the floor tiles

[bestguy22]

look for the nearest exit

[Refticus]

inspect tiles for ants

[Hansome duded]

feast on the floor tiles

You are unable to pry a floor tile off the ground to devour it.

inspect tiles for ants

No ants..

jack off and leave

look for the nearest exit

You masturbate furiously near a wall and then walk around to find an exit. You stumble into a door and it opens, revealing a mall. The room illuminates and you were in a restroom being repaired. The bathroom is white, hopefully nobody notices the cum?
There is a pipe loose so you take it and equip it.

This is no ordinary mall. In fact, its the strangest mall you've ever seen filled with strange creatures and people. Once you exit, you find a sign pointing you towards various highlights of the mall. The list includes:

>INFORMATION CENTER<
>WEAPONS KIOSK<
>MAGIC SHOP<
>SUBWAY< (jared included)
>MECHANIC<
>ARMOR SHOP<
>EXIT<

You look around in your pockets, unfortunately you don't have much. $11.

Where to go, forums?

[Shizza04]

subway
by the way, what is our age?
that might come in handy when we go to subway to avoid jared fondle

[HULKHOGANWWFWORLDCHAMPION]

Info Center to ask where the Text Adventure Wrestling Federation Performance Center is

[Hansome duded]

by the way, what is our age?
that might come in handy when we go to subway to avoid jared fondle

Smarty is 19.

subway

You arrive at Subway... this place is in no good shape. The tables are extremely dirty, there are drinks spilled everywhere, and inspecting under the tables, there is literally no room left to place gum you're ready to get rid of. The employees at the counter are extremely anxious. Jared nowhere in sight, yet you can hear him yelling in the kitchen... oh dear. It sounds like hes in pain. Er, besides that what would you like to order? Or are you going to go check out whats happening?


QUEUE OF SHOPS TO GO TO:
1:

Info Center to ask where the Text Adventure Wrestling Federation Performance Center is

[TheAviationFanatic]

forget a subway sandwich then jack off and then jack off into a subway sandwich

[Hansome duded]

forget a subway sandwich then jack off and then jack off into a subway sandwich

You don't have a subway sandwich.

[Captcha Catcher]

rip off skin and become spooky skeleton

[Refticus]

work at subway and add your "special sauce" when people request mayo

[Shizza04]

besides that what would you like to order?

turkey and swiss cheese on white bread, no tomatos

[plexy]

find the nearest desktop, laptop, or tablet and log into tumblr so you can "brag" about being a Trans Gay Lesbian Autistic Wolfkin Foxkin Catkin Lionkin Tigerkin Owlkin friend

[Hansome duded]

rip off skin and become spooky skeleton

You try, but you aren't strong enough. You think to yourself "what the hell am I doing?"

turkey and swiss cheese on white bread, no tomatos

Looks like its half-off day! You pay only $1.50. Mmm, tasty. You devour the sub sandwich.

Money left: $9.50

work at subway and add your "special sauce" when people request mayo

You ask the anxious employees where you can apply to work at Subway, the pressure gets to one of them as his strips down his clothes running away while screaming.

You're hired! Yet nobody is ordering right now so no more special sauce.

find the nearest desktop, laptop, or tablet and log into tumblr so you can "brag" about being a Trans Gay Lesbian Autistic Wolfkin Foxkin Catkin Lionkin Tigerkin Owlkin friend

You open your phone and start bragging, but you're once again interrupted by Jared's screams. The Gay Fanfiction with Sonic The Hedgehog and Mickey Mouse (featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series) will have to wait for later.

Jared is still screaming from the kitchen, and you are requested to go fetch more ingredients from there. What now?