i'm back

Author Topic: i'm back  (Read 1365 times)

sorry for the ambiguous title, didn't know what else to put. anyway, if you'd mind reading before making any rude comments, that'd be great.

wall of text below:
i honestly didn't think that i would want to come here again, that i would want to make an effort to seem sincere in regard to all of you, to establish trust within a smaller community; in fact i almost regret that i'm turning up, because i know problematic history, especially on my level, is warranting a ban. but i'd like to say that this is not an "i'm sorry" thread, i don't expect anything from you but a read. my name is Keith, i'm regarded as a troll and above that a problem user in this community. most people cringe when they hear my name, but i'm here to clear things up, whether it does anything for me at all, or just furthers the knife into my chest.

to start, i joined the forums in late 2012, when i was in 4th grade. my first interest was to advertise an idea i had, some of you may remember it. it wasn't appreciated to say the least, i was younger, i had no idea of what was expected in a community and in fact i had never used a forum before. i didn't realize how harsh the internet was, and i expected a positive reaction, again that didn't end well. i got my first ban in my first thread, and from my realization later on it was perfectly just. after it subsided i started to post casually, the memory of what i did on that account is hazy; the last thing i remember in full detail was a post insulting internet culture and the forums, it didn't end well like the first post.

i got banned for breaking rule 5, and although that upset me i moved on, for a while, at least. i tried to explore other options, i liked the feel of an active community, especially one that doesn't expect too much out of me, but i couldn't find anything interesting, so it didn't take long before i bought a new key and made a new forum account. people still didn't like me, and i got banned, made a new account, did more stupid stuff, got banned, made a new account, got banned, etc...

i won't go into the full details, if you want my history someone can gladly give you my alts. i'm pretty sure that the reaction i'm getting is the same, "you're not welcome here", "forget off", "the forum handicap has returned", whatever the hell. if you'd like to cut that for a split second and read on, i'd be thankful.

i have two mental disorders; autism and bipolar, and people often insult me because of that; trust me it's not easy living with both, neither is it easy living with one, i often times upset my family as i get grumpy easily, and i experience anything from extreme depression to extreme energy. i've lost friends & family because of both feelings, and a lot of my actions are because of that. i'm not blaming everything on my disorders, i know there's some issues that i can fix, but trust me you wouldn't like it if you were me. i also used to be offended easily, anything would get on my nerves and i'd engage in arguments which were over nothing, i also spammed and started crying a lot because some of my "friends" betrayed me. i'm over that stage for the most part, internet culture is understandable where i am now.

i also have issues with my family and friends, for example my mom was physically and verbally abusive from the age of 3 - 6, and she is still unfit to be a mother. i also haven't seen my dad in around 6 months, neither has the rest of my family, which is an emotional backstab because i don't really have anyone i can talk to in times of need. i have a therapist, additional hired supports and 2 good IRL friends, but that's not near enough as i don't get to see them always.

i just wanted to say that this just feels like my home, although most people that know who i am abhor me. anyway, i have the hope that at least a few of you will understand where i am.

i know people are going to give me some questions, so i feel it'd be better if i could answer a few:

"we're not an emotional support forum, why are you returning?"
because i love places where i can mess around without getting banned for saying swear words or for not "contributing".

"we already hate you, why do you feel the need to come again?"
it's not within my interest to cause more drama, i just want to stay connected with people and not worry about my identity.

"if we forgive you, how do you plan to act?"
i don't know. i'll start by saying that i'll make my best effort to be likeable, but with the things that go on in daily life & my casual behavior it might be a struggle, nonetheless i still love being here even if the mass majority dislikes me.

"why can't you just join facepunch, 4chan or reddit?"
i've used all of those, i mean i still use reddit often but i'd like a general community, again, that isn't too strict.

if i am to be banned again, at least assure me that my words have been understood, i have my issues but this is a one of a kind community, i don't wish to be anywhere else.


User was banned for this post
« Last Edit: April 09, 2016, 01:00:56 PM by Badspot »


the forums kinda changed but welcome back nonetheless

also i don't know you so shed some more light please

the forums kinda changed but welcome back nonetheless

also i don't know you so shed some more light please
Keith, Markey, Berint, johhnny1ace, Malin Prosper are all some of my aliases



keith you're ban on sight :o

friendly reminder that you can never leave

Keith, Markey
Omg I remember you dude, from ages ago! Welcome back man

keith you're ban on sight :o
yeah

i mean, if i do get banned i'm just going to hope that i can eventually find another community but honestly i feel better here.

i mean, if i do get banned i'm just going to hope that i can eventually find another community but honestly i feel better here.
sounds like you'll have to be careful

because if you do something dumb forgiveness doesn't work twice

Hi I'm back, I'm jeetlor.

suh dude
idk who you are but thats a nice wall even on my 75% zoomed window so hey


oh stuff my brother told me how bad keith was, i never expected him to come back though