My sleeping pattern. I woke up this morning on the brink of a loving coma because I couldn't sleep at all last night, I don't really understand this meme of everyone on the planet waking up at the ass crack of dawn, it's never worked for me. stuff has me living on caffeine literally 24/7 because of insomnia or whatever (are sleeping pills really as addictive/bad as people say they are?) and beyond anything else I think I'm one of those 'extreme cases' where sugar and caffeine causes a person to become badly depressed, because really despite a stuffty case of isolation and worldly displacement I think life is pretty okay and yet I still barely have the energy to jack off at night. I'm not even sad, I'm just sorta 'passively angry' about everything, I don't know if that's entitlement, injustice or just testosterone, but I guess it doesn't help that the 5 and a half people on the planet I give enough of a stuff about to not treat like dirt don't actually reciprocate, but reading that sentence back to myself I'm not sure if I'm able to blame them. I'm not complaining about a lack of friends, I can very easily live without people trying to exploit me all the loving time, maybe it's just the fact that every 3rd person I meet turns out to a total judas is the problem. Maybe it's the fact that for someone who receives a pretty huge amount of his happiness from the validation by his peers, I sure do loving hate my peers
Then I got out of bed to go to a college class that I hate to get a failing grade on an assignment that I didn't understand. Out of all my classes this is beyond loving stupid, one day we're learning about how to structure essays, next day we're learning about aboriginal history (the forget does this have to do with IT?) and then we're learning about how to private our facebook posts so our future employers can't discriminate against us for having opinions or whatever the hell is flawed with the industry now. Then they throw us headfirst into a research essay about a subject nobody on the planet gives a forget about, resulting in me not being able to find a total of 4 loving articles about it, and then I failed the assignment because all my sources were out of date or some bullstuff, and the references that they put on their own loving database were apparently "riddled with errors". I take a class called Computer Fundamentals which is basically computer cult magic taught by a teacher 5 seconds away from cardiac arrest, and I understand it more than this class. Hey, at-least I got a 100 for 'writing' on the rubric, maybe I can go become a creative writer and die lonely and hungry like the other 95% of creative writers who were good at nothing else.
Then on the way back home some bro in a BMW almost runs me over and takes it upon himself to blast his car horn in my loving ears because I dare use the crosswalk without first checking for starfishs going 4x the speed limit outside the elderly hospital. Get home and find out that nobody even knew I was gone for an hour, contemplated messaging one of my friends who very obviously doesn't care whether or not I exist, decided against it, and now I'm waiting for my friend to get off a league match so we can record a video to put on my mediocre youtube channel. Maybe I'm just a cynic. Who knows. It's been a trash day and it's not even noon. I still have to teach myself an entire lecture and convert 2 use case elaborations into BRD's or whatever and then meet up with my richardhead group member (who is my only group member in what is supposed to be a group of 4, they literally ran out of people to put in my group, and they still won't give me an extension). And then go to sleep and repeat the same damn process tomorrow loving morning. Helps to vent here though.
