Skrub Skrubasaures Rex
A Screenplay by Jimbob the Rektifer
EXT. roosterLAND - AFTERNOON
Mlg csgo player KEKSTER TYRONE TOPKEK is arguing with cringey Volvo worker LEGENDARY MASTER TOPKEKIA. TYRONE tries to hug MASTER but she shakes him off.
TYRONE
Please Master, don't leave me.
MASTER
I'm sorry Tyrone, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
TYRONE
I am such a person!
MASTER frowns.
MASTER
I'm sorry, Tyrone. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
MASTER leaves.
TYRONE sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, Topkek illuminti clon MLG FAZE CLAN barges in looking flustered.
TYRONE
Goodness, FaZe! Is everything okay?
FAZE
I'm afraid not.
TYRONE
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
FAZE
It's ... a Skrubasaures Rex ... I saw an evil Skrubasaures Rex 1 shot AWP a bunch of McSkillet Clan!
TYRONE
Defenseless McSkillet Clan?
FAZE
Yes, defenseless McSkillet Clan!
TYRONE
Bloomin' heck, FaZe! We've got to do something.
FAZE
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
TYRONE
You can start by telling me where this happened.
FAZE
I was...
FAZE fans himself and begins to wheeze.
TYRONE
Focus FaZe, focus! Where did it happen?
FAZE
Banland! That's right - Banland!
TYRONE springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
TYRONE rushes along the street, followed by FAZE. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. BANLAND - SHORTLY AFTER
SKREB MASTER a Skrub Skrubasaures Rex terrorises two McSkillet Clan.
TYRONE, closely followed by FAZE, rushes towards SKREB, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
FAZE
What is is? What's the matter?
TYRONE
That's not just any old Skrubasaures Rex, that's Skreb Master!
FAZE
Who's Skreb Master?
TYRONE
Who's Skreb Master? Who's Skreb Master? Only the most Skrub Skrubasaures Rex in the universe!
FAZE
Blinkin' knickers, Tyrone! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most Skrub Skrubasaures Rex in the universe!
TYRONE
You can say that again.
FAZE
Blinkin' knickers, Tyrone! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most Skrub Skrubasaures Rex in the universe!
TYRONE
I'm going to need Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos, lots of Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos.
Skreb turns and sees Tyrone and FaZe. He grins an evil grin.
SKREB
Tyrone Topkek, we meet again.
FAZE
You've met?
TYRONE
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young TYRONE is sitting in a park listening to some Ear bleeding dubstep music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SKREB. He takes off his headphones.
SKREB
Would you like some Mountain Dew Gums?
TYRONE's eyes light up, but then he studies SKREB more closely, and looks uneasy.
TYRONE
I don't know, you look kind of Skrub.
SKREB
Me? No. I'm not Skrub. I'm the least Skrub Skrubasaures Rex in the world.
TYRONE
Wait, you're a Skrubasaures Rex?
TYRONE runs away, screaming.
INT. BANLAND - PRESENT DAY
SKREB
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
FAZE
(To TYRONE) You ran away?
TYRONE
(To FAZE) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
TYRONE turns to SKREB.
TYRONE
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
TYRONE runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
TYRONE
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos.
SKREB
I'm not scared of you.
TYRONE
You should be.
INT. TYRONELAND - LATER THAT DAY
TYRONE and FAZE walk around searching for something.
TYRONE
I feel sure I left my Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos somewhere around here.
FAZE
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos.
TYRONE
You know nothing FaZe Clan.
FAZE
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, SKREB appears, holding a pair of Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos.
SKREB
Looking for something?
FAZE
Crikey, Tyrone, he's got your Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos.
TYRONE
Tell me something I don't already know!
FAZE
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
TYRONE
I know that already!
FAZE
I got my knives from a trade..
SKREB
(appalled) Dude!
While SKREB is looking at FAZE with disgust, TYRONE lunges forward and grabs his deadly Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos. He wields them, triumphantly.
TYRONE
Prepare to die, you Skrub Curry Plant!
SKREB
No please! All I did was 1 shot AWP a bunch of McSkillet Clan!
MASTER enters, unseen by any of the others.
TYRONE
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those McSkillet Clan were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Tyrone Topkek defender of innocent McSkillet Clan.
SKREB
Don't hurt me! Please!
TYRONE
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos on you right away!
SKREB
Because Tyrone, I am your father.
TYRONE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
TYRONE
No you're not!
SKREB
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
SKREB tries to grab the Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos but TYRONE dodges out of the way.
TYRONE
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, SKREB slumps to the ground.
FAZE
Did he just faint?
TYRONE
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos.
TYRONE crouches over SKREB's body.
FAZE
Be careful, Tyrone. It could be a trick.
TYRONE
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Skreb Master is dead!
TYRONE
What?
TYRONE
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
FAZE claps his hands.
FAZE
So your Topkek and 360 Noscoper and Mountain and Doritos did save the day, after all.
MASTER steps forward.
MASTER
Is it true? Did you kill the Skrub Skrubasaures Rex?
TYRONE
Master how long have you been...?
MASTER puts her arm around TYRONE.
MASTER
Long enough.
TYRONE
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Skreb Master.
MASTER
Then the McSkillet Clan are safe?
TYRONE
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable McSkillet Clan enter, looking relived.
MASTER
You are their hero.
The McSkillet Clan bow to TYRONE.
TYRONE
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Skreb Master will never 1 shot AWP McSkillet Clan ever again, is enough for me.
MASTER
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the McSkillet Clan passes TYRONE an Expensive Karambit | Fade
MASTER
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
TYRONE
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
TYRONE
Well, if you insist.
TYRONE takes the Karambit | Fade.
TYRONE
Thank you.
The McSkillet Clan bow their heads once more, and leave.
TYRONE turns to MASTER.
TYRONE
Does this mean you want me back?
MASTER
Oh, Tyrone, of course I want you back!
TYRONE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
TYRONE
Well you can't have me.
MASTER
WHAT?
TYRONE
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a Skrubasaures Rex to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
MASTER
But...
TYRONE
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, FaZe.
FAZE grins.
MASTER
But...
FAZE
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
MASTER
Tyrone?
TYRONE
I'm sorry Master, but I think you should skidaddle.
MASTER leaves.
FAZE turns to TYRONE.
FAZE
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
TYRONE
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly FAZE stops.
FAZE
When I said I got my knives from a trade., you know I was just trying to distract the Skrubasaures Rex don't you?
THE END
