I happened to pop by and these are the kinds of late updates we're getting? I'm taking over for this update.
Attack Results
TableSalt: Rolled
5Popping open your trusty medicine kit, you down the pill that you got from that weird gypsy herbalist who specialized in tautologic healing, whatever that meant. It works great anyways, and
you are healed, because you are.SubDaWoofer: Rolled
5The devil is continually more perplexed by the strange human who is jumping headfirst into the nearest spiked pit. You burst through the floor and fall into the staff swimming pool, which had recently been filled with soda-lava for an elaborate practical joke. As your flesh is boiled away in sparkly grape fizz lava,
you experience a new definition of pain and descend another level of hell.Potatoh: Rolled
6You fly into the heavens and ask the heavenly post if your mininuke shipment has arrived yet. It has, so you strap on your angelic wings and descend slowly while tossing out nukes like a radioactive Oprah, saturating the battlefield and
damaging all tanks by 100!DELL: Rolled
1You attempt to stuff white-hot feces at the tanks, but the
multiple blowtorches pointed at your ass end up melting it long before the first poop begins.ZeUberMedic!:
Used the free healYou apply some weird pink-green substance to your bodily orifices. Despite the strange sensation, it works, and you return to a fighting position.
JamesH: Fired EVERYTHING
You point your hand forward dramatically while your
gate of babylon autocannons unleash hell and lightning on the poor tank,
dealing 200 damage!Twix: Rolled
1You ring up your local fractal dealer, but he informs you that he's out of stock; Mandelbrot has been sold out, the Menger Sponge was used to soak up the Pacific for interstellar transport, and it isn't cold enough out for Koch snowflakes to form. Fractal withdrawal symptoms begin to set in,
damaging your mental health.Redconer: Landed on
TAILSYou pray hard to return to the overworld, and the demons around you
do not take kindly to it, smacking you with your free heal until your skin is torn off.
Space1255: Rolled
2Winding up all your energy, you release an outburst of force which results in your corpse punching itself really really hard.
Its head falls off from the impact.Rabbot32: Rolled
5The great army of cartoon characters bands together, and they are joined by Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python And The Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Blue Meanie, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan, who come out of nowhere lightning fast and
reinforce the defensive line with their bodies, increasing it to 20 HP!NotBomberGuy: Rolled
1Sly marbo spits at you, and you back off, huddling in a corner with your wall building tools. Getting to work, you trip over a brick, and
scrape your face off.Microsoft EDGE: Rolled
6You swing a hammer right through mini tank 3, gouging out a lot of important-looking components and wrecking the plastic battleship model that the loader was *this* close to finishing, dealing 153 damage! The strain of swinging the hammer dislocates your right shoulder.
Bronson: Rolled
2Bronson roosters his triple shotgun, and the shell flies out,
hitting him in his square chin.
Bronson's ugly mug has been pissing off the tank drivers for quite a while, and they join forces to attack him!
Mini TankThe tank fires its gun at Bronson. doing 1 damage!HP: 800/800 Armor: 161/400 Shield: 0/500
Such a cool tank!
Mini Tank #2The tank fires its gun at Bronson, but the shot is blocked by the Defensive fortification, doing 1 damage!HP: 800/800 Armor: 132/400 Shield: 0/500
Totally not a clone of Mini Tank #1.
Mini Tank #3The tank fires its gun at Bronson. doing 1 damage!HP:
41/800 Armor: 0/400 Shield: 0/500
I still wonder how someone would fit in this...?
The tank's shields reduce ranged attacks by 1/2 of their damage and increase melee damage by 50%. Get your knives out!
Playerstber123:
tank pew, you dead [+Free Heal Available]Twix:
fractal withdrawal victimMr Queeba:
1/3 [+Free Heal Available]Cybertails1998:
1/3 [+Free Heal Available]NotBomberguy:
watch your stepMoltenKitten:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]Space1255:
incremental combo denied + extreme rigor mortis [+Free Heal Available]Rabbot32:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]TristianLuigi:
1/3 [+Free Heal Available]cromartini:
look before you dab [+Free Heal Available]kidplasma:
2/3eboyblue10:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]SubDaWoofer:
in hell's sub-sub-basement or something [+Free Heal Available]Juncoph:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]CRITAWAKETS:
3/3 3/3 Bandos Defense active [+Free Heal Available] Transformed into Black Ace: lasts until battle endsPotatoh:
1/3 [+Free Heal Available]GrapeJellyToastMan:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Man of Greenish:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]Somemong:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Nix the Glaceon:
Drank his laundry detergent [+Free Heal Available]Redconer:
bad with cauldrons [+Free Heal Available]JamesH:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]Microsoft EDGE:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Pngu12970:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Deoxys And One Noob:
kablammo [+Free Heal Available]Gojira:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]crazies alt:
first to touch the kill border Built up speed: lasts until end of battleRigel:
3/3 [+Free Heal Available]ZeUberMedic:
3/3Malleo100:
tank shell up the butt [+Free Heal Available]TableSalt:
3/3Just M2:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]shinyarceus4:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Clownfish:
2/3 [+Free Heal Available]Bloo Kirby the 2nd:
fruit ninja with grenades is unhealthyDELL:
10000 degree white-hot assBadpost:
1/3AlliesSubDaWoofer's Combat Drone:
1/3Engineer:
2/3Bronson: 5/6
0/3TOG II:
1/4ZeUberMedic's BIG Howitzer: Construction paused due to ZeUberMedic's death, 3 turns to build BuildingsOffenseJamesH's 400mm Autocannon: 5/5JamesH's Second 400mm Autocannon: 5/5Rabbot32's Field Guns: Construction paused, 3 turns to build, if Rabbot32 remembers where he wasDefenseDefensive Fortification: 9/10Defensive Line: 20/10Twix's Trench: 3/3 1/1 Inside: Twix. One slot remaining.UtilityAmazon Prime TerminalTM:
14/15CRIT's Fortress: 10/10Mercenary Vault: 14/15
The defensive fortification has a 50% chance to divert enemy attacks to itself. While the defensive line will make any players who move behind it immune to damage, at the cost of itself taking damage every time one of those players is attacked.
Twix's Trench will absorb damage for players when they get attacked or when they roll 2. It has limited room, but players may hop in or out as they wish. Players cannot push players in or out the trench. NPCs may use the trench if ordered to. Enemies cannot attack the trench itself, but can damage it if they aim for a player currently in the trench. The trench can get repaired instantly the turn after it is destroyed. A dice roll of 1 will not affect or be affected by the trench. Players or NPCs in the trench who are killed get kicked out of the trench.
Bandos Defense Armor adds 3 armor points to the wearer. The armor regenerates after every battle.
Free heals may be used to fully restore yourself. They are one-time use only, so be wise. Using a free heal while dead will revive you with guaranteed success.
The list of allies and buildings is getting too big so, dead/destroyed allies and buildings that get repaired and then destroyed again will dissapear from the list the turn after they are destroyed. Nothing's stopping you from rebuilding it from the top, of course.
Also, dead/destroyed allies and buildings that remain unattended for 3 turns will also get removed from the list. [/size]
You're welcome.
Poll