my greatest fear is that the person who's most important to me will die and I will never know about it and they will just instantly forever be gone from my life and there's nothing I can do about it and it chills me to the bone
knowing that my bf (and anyone for that matter, but it doesn't bug me as much in other cases) could be perfectly fine one minute and dead the next for completely stupid and unpredictable reasons freaks me out more than a little bit
the idea that it could happen without me knowing is a minor thing compared to that alone
