i'm not one to usually do this stuff but these feelings have been pent up inside for a long time now and I need to let them out somewhere.
Socially, I'm just left out, I'm left out of almost everything. I have friends, I know a lot of people, and I'm very well acquainted, but I'm just cast aside for so many loving things.
Everyone I used to hang out with back in the 8th and Freshman year (who are absolutely great people still) have just dropped all contact with me, my current friend group composed of people I've known almost my entire life and others from a few years back always just go "they're not even fun they just go to parties and drink" (we're not against that, I used to smoke daily and everyone I know is into some drug or another), but they always have their loving snapchat stories and they're all having so much fun.
It's not even them having a rager or anything, it's the best kind of party, just sitting around with people you know and talking and having fun, and these are people I've known my entire life, more than people I currently know now, some of these people used to be my absolute best friends, but now I just watch form a digitally safe distance as I'm just cast aside.
The same even happens with my group of friends, they'll always go to the city, or the ocean, or a festival, a concert, anything, but they never once have invited me to any of these things, they just come back and tell me about how much fun they have, and all I do is sit and nod saying "oh that sounds cool"
for instance, I've been trying to go to the Academy of Sciences since I got out of the hospital, which was June, and they all know this, for months I've been complaining about how I haven't been able to go due to my family being busy or something, then recently they started talking about going there, and I mentioned my predicament, to which got no response pretty much, then they come to my house a week later talking about how sick it was seeing all they had to display there, and how instead of bringing me they brought another friend of ours who just made the entire thing incredibly uncomfortorable for everyone and was being a bit annoying. But not once did they even ever apologize saying "oh stuff man I wish you could've been there" or something. Just no regard.
Not to mention my house is pretty much just a convening point, they'll ask to come over, kick it for a bit, then be like "alright we're leaving now to go to X's house" but are never once like "ey yo dude come along". The same thing even happens if we're out and about, they just leave me behind to walk home or what have you.
Every few months I just get to a boiling point where I'm just confront them, asking why they never hit me up or anything and how I'm always left out of this stuff, they always go "well you never hit us up and you sit inside your room on your computer all day, hit us up more often dude".
alright
"hey dude what are you up to?"
"oh sorry I'm busy got work today"
"hey you wanna kick it"
"sorry I'm going out to X's house today, can't"
"hey man we should go fishing soon or something"
"I'm going out to the lake/pond with X people right now, I'll bring you along some other time".
I finally got so loving sick and tired of this when one of my friends sent me a video of them and like 4 other people we know just in a car blazing, nothing too exciting and I'm not even smoking right now, but I just got so fed up with it and lashed out on him saying
"why do you always send me this stuff I can literally do nothing with this, do you I just sit here and watch you guys have fun all day or some stuff what do I do with this video"
"well dude you never hit us up really and you're always at work or on your computer or something"
WHAT DO I HIT YOU UP FOR
HEY DUDE YEAH COME ON OVER AND LET'S JUST SIT IN MY ROOM AND LOOK AT stuff ON MY COMPUTER
it's just such an unfortunate stuffty situation, not to mention everyone I know is going to a bunch of different schools now and I've dropped out so I'm completely disconnected from seeing even the people I used to be super good friends with just occasionally saying hi and checking up with what they've been up to in recent times, and when I would go check on them they're not annoyed, they're loving glad I'm coming by, those 5-15 minutes of just quick stuff shooting is great for everyone and I've never gotten a bad glance for doing so.
I've pretty much reached the point to where I'm just going to call them out on this if it persists. It may just seem like complaining, but after multiple trips to the city, 8 different concerts, and what else have you of me not being there on said events and having to hear how much fun it was get's loving sickening.
sorry, go back to stuffposting now everyone.
