Off Topic > Off Topic
Help! My parents won't stay out of my business!
foulprairiedog:
--- Quote from: PhantOS on May 30, 2017, 12:38:37 AM ---Monitoring an adolescent's online activity isn't being overprotective. Anything less than that is essentially negligence. You can literally google 'gore' right now and find pages upon pages of obscene content. if my daughter were to come across that stuff at 13 or 14 years old i would freak the forget out
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any teen on the internet should already be jaded enough to not freak the forget out. constantly monitoring your kid to keep them "safe" from the horrors of the internet is bullstuff. it's not like they're gonna be traumatized for life by seeing a gif of somebody dying, or a picture of some meat. if anything, seeing gore makes you grow a thicker skin; maybe even make you want to become a doctor or nurse.
Khaz:
your parents own the house and own the internet you use, and are therefore allowed and have the right to do anything so much as it's not abusive or significantly detrimental to one's well-being. in this case it's a little over the top.
that being said, knocking wouldn't hurt too much. and the amount of monitoring or whatever they're doing on your accounts is beyond extra
otto-san:
--- Quote from: PhantOS on May 30, 2017, 12:38:37 AM ---children are not property but the internet you pay $50 a month for and their $400+ computer is definitely your property.
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but their personal life is not. any extension of your child's life belongs to them, and regardless of who you are, nobody has business taking that away.
what OP's parents are doing is abusive. it insists that their child's feelings about what they are and aren't comfortable sharing are irrelevant, that the parents deserve to control and police their life. it shows that they completely lack trust and respect for them, and have no faith in their child's ability to act on their own. and these are things will have, and are having, a very direct negative impact on their child's life. because people don't willingly surrender their life over to authoritarian figures. they find ways to hide their life and guard it, learning not trusting anyone else with that information. children with parents that do these things ultimately fall victim to the same complexes that bring parents to do these things in the first place.
--- Quote from: PhantOS on May 30, 2017, 12:45:40 AM ---the internet is a privilege and you should be grateful that you're even allowed to use it so liberally.
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this is a poor way to view these sorts of things. you can't excuse abusive action by saying it could be worse. that's how abusers excuse their behavior and it is incredibly unhealthy.
foulprairiedog:
--- Quote from: otto-san on May 30, 2017, 12:48:59 AM ---what OP's parents are doing is abusive. it insists that their child's feelings about what they are and aren't comfortable sharing are irrelevant, that the parents deserve to control and police their life. it shows that they completely lack trust and respect for them, and have no faith in their child's ability to act on their own. and these are things will have, and are having, a very direct negative impact on their child's life. because people don't willingly surrender their life over to authoritarian figures. they find ways to hide their life and guard it, learning not trusting anyone else with that information. children with parents that do these things ultimately fall victim to the same complexes that bring parents to do these things in the first place.
this is a poor way to view these sorts of things. you can't excuse abusive action by saying it could be worse. that's how abusers excuse their behavior and it is incredibly unhealthy.
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exactly. it's like reading your kid's diary, or reading their texts. it's a blatant invasion of privacy that will eventually lead to further trust issues later in life.
PhantOS:
--- Quote from: otto-san on May 30, 2017, 12:48:59 AM ---but their personal life is not. any extension of your child's life belongs to them, and regardless of who you are, nobody has business taking that away.
what OP's parents are doing is abusive. it insists that their child's feelings about what they are and aren't comfortable sharing are irrelevant, that the parents deserve to control and police their life. it shows that they completely lack trust and respect for them, and have no faith in their child's ability to act on their own. and these are things will have, and are having, a very direct negative impact on their child's life. because people don't willingly surrender their life over to authoritarian figures. they find ways to hide their life and guard it, learning not trusting anyone else with that information. children with parents that do these things ultimately fall victim to the same complexes that bring parents to do these things in the first place.
this is a poor way to view these sorts of things. you can't excuse abusive action by saying it could be worse. that's how abusers excuse their behavior and it is incredibly unhealthy.
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alright after reading this i see what you're saying. i can't say i'd change the way i parent from this paragraph, but it can definitely be viewed as abuse or overprotection