you are a police officer

[Conan]

you shake tom awake

"w-wuh, what, is something happening?" he looks at you and asks

the queer dude is just passing your car now, scarf around neck, backpack on back, and phone in hand. probably browsing gay ass websites or something

[Ad Bot]

[Nonnel]

tell tom that a convicted sodomite is passing the road

[Conan]

"see that guy passing us? hes actually a convicted sodomite!!!!"

"...you woke me up to spy on a gay rapist"

"LOOK HES JAYWALKING"
the queer dude crosses the road 50 feet away from the intersection crosswalk. this is a felony of unfathomable proportions. and right behind a police car no less!!!!

"you know what, im going back to sleep." tom turns away from you and falls back asleep supposedly. you cant tell cause you cant see his eyes. cause he's facing away from you. but you're fairly sure he is.

you see the guy who walks out of the bathroom go into the bagel store. its like 3 hours till lunchtime - maybe he works the morning shift there?

[Tactical Nuke]

the bagels are secretly made of baked feces

he stuffs, puts it in a bag and then shapes it into a bagel shape

[Meth]

honk the horn

[bigcapitalbaka]

he must be burglarizing the premises
whats his nationality

[Conan]

(rng: 1 2 3)

since you dont have a bag on you you go inside the bagel shop and ask for a bag, then proceed to go to the restroom and stuff in it. you then mould it into a bagel shape using the bag - its a chocolate donut now (sorta, not really)

the bagelman behind the counter gives you weird looks as you leave. he saw you go in there with an empty bag and now its not. being a suspicious little forget he goes into the bathroom to check if anything is missing, but you dont really care.

you bring it back to the car and then reach over and honk the horn. tom is awake and pissed now and the only reason he didnt start yelling at you is cause of your bag and the smell its creating.



while he looks into the bag you look at the queer dude and realize that his backpack is actually kinda odd. not many backpacks have wires coming out of it. he's a white dude so you dont think he's about to bomb someplace but that's definitely weird. he's too far away to chase down now though, and he turns the corner where the bank is at so you can't see him anymore.

you see the hispanic bank manager come into view as well a second later. you can sense tom has just finally figured out that the chocolate donut-bagel thing isnt really something edible.

[Drydess]

ask the bank manager if shes gay

[Conan]

you leave the car before tom can say anything and walk over to the bank manager

"ma'am, pardon me but i have a question"

She looks at you slightly nervous, wondering if she did anything wrong probably. and as you understand, she might have...
"uh, sure I guess"

you take put your weight on your right foot, sigh, and ask "this might be a sensitive quesiton, but are you gay??????"

she's confused and slightly taken aback, "uh, no... . ? why do you need to know this??"

before you answer tom catches up to you and asks "why the hell did you bring a bag of stuff into the car i sure hope you dont mind me throwing it out cause i just did that." doesnt seem like he heard your question to the manager

she's still pretty confused, moreso by the comment tom made.

[Potatoh]

just curious

[Ayebee123]

Point the gun to your head again, and shoot yourself

[Nonnel]

remember that the gun you pointed at your head is filled with vodka and you plan to drink it later

[Conan]

(rng: 1 2 3)

you say that you were just curious, and before she and tom can do anything in response, you pull out your gun and shoot yourself in the head.

...

this cream cheese bagel is getting pretty old, you think, as you chew on it. you see the queer dude with the wired backpack down the sidewalk walking towards your car, and the other-dude-who-pops-out-of-the-bathroom-when-tom-disappears appear on the other side of the street at the intersection opposite to the queer dude.

now that you think of it you didn't spot him in the bagel shop when you got the bag and made the stuff-donut. probably an employee you guess.

[Refticus]

blast sirens for exactly 1 second to really spook him

[Conan]

you reach over tom and turn on your sirens for exactly 1 second, using your watch to time it. its not long enough to wake up tom it seems, but you can see everyone in the area stop in their tracks, caught off guard by the loud blaring and lights in the quiet morning.

since you were watching the queer dude the entire time, you notice he stops just a bit longer and looks at your car longer than everyone else, but then continues walking like normal afterwards. he's pretty close now.