how has 2017 been for you?

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ultimamax:

--- Quote from: Køtt on December 10, 2017, 03:50:44 PM ---...what? no it isn't, this is a thread where you can write your opinions about 2017, whether be it short or long, or honest or kind.

there are people that like this year surprisingly enough

--- End quote ---
It can and should be expected to function as a vent thread though, which is all that's necessary for my argument.

Køtt:

--- Quote from: ultimamax on December 10, 2017, 03:57:22 PM ---It can and should be expected to function as a vent thread though

--- End quote ---

uh, how about no

Maxwell.:
OP asked an honest question and got honest, real answers- doing what night fox did where he dismissed mcjob being real in this sort of thread regardless of it's type is just being mean for absolutely no reason.

ultimamax:

--- Quote from: Køtt on December 10, 2017, 03:58:09 PM ---uh, how about no

--- End quote ---
you're an starfish then

IkeTheGeneric:

--- Quote from: IkeTheGeneric on December 07, 2017, 12:29:22 PM ---Nearly died due to medical complications, so I'm glad I'm still alive

been recovering from that since

--- End quote ---

Expanding on this since other people are posting long winded self-examinations - It's not easy to go through the stuff I have. The whole recovery thing has just been me trying to get back onto my feet and pretend life is normal again, for probably like the fifth time in my life. I've been in the wringer so many times now I'm almost expecting life-changing events to be right around the corner at all moments, so I've slowed down a bit to cherish what I have while I still have it.

It feels like I have so much to decompress but I don't know where to start, so it feels like I'm carrying the world's biggest baggage on my shoulders, and I feel responsible to just shoulder it and carry on. Despite that, I also feel like any little thing is going to shatter the feigned stoicism and I'm going to freak out at any moment. Mortality and existentialism are scary things. They haunt me deep to my core. The insurmountable fear that keeps up awake at night is not something that I can just shake off. I can shoot for professional help but from my experience the best answer I'm going to get is to distract myself from the prospect that I'm going to die someday.

I can't help but fear that my purpose in life is to just eat stuff and squirm, that nothing will ever get easier or safer, and that I'll die not knowing what it was like to be able to stop for a day and feel comfortable.

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