Author Topic: open letter to xelau (Read 1783 times)

xelau · May 15, 2018, 04:09:21 PM

LISTEN UP KOCHIE

I will breed snails in my bathtub for 5 years and then when they are all big and slimy i will put them in zip-lock baggies and throw them out the loving window. then i will spend all of my money on apples and let them just loving rot. Next i will go out to the country and start a farm, get it nice and successful and burn it to the loving ground because forget you that's why. NEXT I will audition for America's got talent but get rejected because i live in Canada but that's alright because i loving hate reality TV. My next step is to invest in Gary Coleman postage stamps. Using an insider's trading tip i will make BILLIONS. I will then spend everything i have made on model train sets and then throw the trains off of a goddamn overpass, i will inevitably start a car crash because i have dumped literally millions of model trains and Model Train paraphernalia onto the freeway below. Ultimately i will be sent to prison for a few years because manslaughter. While in prison i will start a cigarette ring and make literally tens of dollars, when i get out of prison i should be about 50 or so years old, I will then spend the next 25 years making a living carving soap sculptures, and then selling the shavings to soap factories for a minimal profit. the soap sculptures I will keep because I'm getting old and they're almost as god as friends now. by the time i am about 75 i will retire. after which i will look back on my life and reflect on the things I've done, and then punch kochieboy in the loving richard.

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Potatoh · May 15, 2018, 05:02:47 PM

I will begin to remove essential cables from your computer, so the computer will not function, I will do this while you are at school so I ensure when you get home you will slowly realize that a cable is missing. After you look very very hard for the cable, you will need to walk all the way to to the store to buy a brand new cable, and after a month of doing this every day, I will remove 2 essential cables, thus you will go to the store and then come back with the new cable to come to realization, that a 2nd cable is gone. This will cause you to be very angry and go back to the store once more for another cable. For every 1 month I will remove 1 additional cable from your computer, eventually there will be so many missing cables that I instead, will take your monitor also, eventually with your monitor gone every day you will become broke, thus instead of stopping, I will take the entire computer and leave with it instead, thus all your information on your computer will be gone, and if you have anything private on the computer, it will immediately be released to the public, thus making you infuriated for releasing your private addons onto the forums, under my name. If you reply with a angry comment, I will know that you use a phone. No matter how well you protect your phone from getting stolen, I will take it, no matter the cost. Eventually you will have no more electronics and you will need to use the library computer lab to use the computer, but then I will steal all the computers in the library to make sure you have no access to the internet. If you use a friends computer, it will then be gone too. For every single computer you use, it will disappear, no matter what. In the end this will make you very sad and angry.

Mr.No�ody · May 15, 2018, 05:05:48 PM

Epic meme guys.

Kochieboy · May 15, 2018, 05:06:50 PM

this thread was a mistake. xelau is a mistake

if I had a time machine with only one use, I would go back to 1999 when he was about to take a stuff at school one day and steal the toilet paper from the bathroom. He'll have to EXTREMELY poop and there won't be any ass paper for miles. He'll get extremely bottom heavy but be too afraid to go. I'll be laughing with joe from the janitor's closet and we'll actually become pretty good pals. He'll invite me over for dinner with his 8 dogs and ferret. It won't taste very good, but I'll eat it anyway because I'm being polite. We'll talk about his years training to become a firetruck (what?) and how he could never hold enough water to get the job. I'll grow old with him as a good friend and we'll golf sometimes, but he doesn't use a club since he doesn't have hands (lost them to the ferret RIP) so he'll just kick the ball around. I'll laugh with him and slip him back into his straight jacket and deliver him home to "aun't mom's mental help place." I'll get a call from the loony bin one morning and they'll tell me he's on his deathbed. But he was dead by the time I arrive. I walk in an he's holding a photo of us together from where we went go cart racing in disney. But he didn't have legs then so he just rolls around on the track. But anyway, I'll be super sad and stuff. I'll miss my friend. I'll never forget him. I'll soon by on me deathbed and I'll remember all the times we had together (especially the time we shot paintball guns at the neighbors ever time they had dinner). Life was pretty good.

but anyway that little cunt xelau had to walk around with a stuffty starfish that day

datiel12 · May 15, 2018, 05:14:46 PM

dear xelau

;

Mardalf · May 15, 2018, 05:24:54 PM

Hlello threre!

Masterlegodude · May 15, 2018, 06:11:23 PM

Dear x/c/z/kealu/Eon,

By the time you read this I'll be dead. This is how I think it's gonna happen: Kochieboy will shoot me, then I'll shoot Kochieboy, then Potatoh will enter and get shot by Kochieboy. Then you'll come in and get shot by Potatoh, Kochiboy, and I multiple times.

Sincerely, Masterlegodude.

P.S. Then two cops will read this letter and shoot each other.

beachbum111111 · May 15, 2018, 06:29:08 PM

Oh yeah it's this copypasta. This stuffs old

K�tt · May 15, 2018, 08:56:04 PM

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xelau · May 15, 2018, 08:57:28 PM

You have got too far you twatbubble.
KOCHIEBOY! I am going to eat like 7 hot peppers andplug up my own starfish. then i will drink 41 gallons of milk, and a buch of stuffty taco bell, next i will loving eat a live chicken, beak and all. i will then let that gestate in my colon for approximately 5 months, it will be painfull and i might die but it will be worth it, after 5 months i will uncork my buttlips and let the nasty soupy mess flow into a series of funnels and tubes. during the 5 months i was bulding a pipeline that goes all the way to northsouth dookie town or whatever your stuff state is. it will pipe directly into your dorm house or whatever. and you will drown in my frothy soupy stuff mixture. YOU WILL BE DEAD because you drowned in my starfish sausage chocolate goo stew.

forget you very much.

Kochieboy · May 15, 2018, 10:25:33 PM

Quote from: xelau on May 15, 2018, 08:57:28 PM

You have got too far you twatbubble.
KOCHIEBOY! I am going to eat like 7 hot peppers andplug up my own starfish. then i will drink 41 gallons of milk, and a buch of stuffty taco bell, next i will loving eat a live chicken, beak and all. i will then let that gestate in my colon for approximately 5 months, it will be painfull and i might die but it will be worth it, after 5 months i will uncork my buttlips and let the nasty soupy mess flow into a series of funnels and tubes. during the 5 months i was bulding a pipeline that goes all the way to northsouth dookie town or whatever your stuff state is. it will pipe directly into your dorm house or whatever. and you will drown in my frothy soupy stuff mixture. YOU WILL BE DEAD because you drowned in my starfish sausage chocolate goo stew.

forget you very much.

you thought you got away you dripping forget of a stuff

there is a child crying somewhere in the world for every slimy, kinked pube on your stuff stained taint you goddamn brown town accessory.

I'm going to take every third able bodied WNBA player and force them all into slave labor in a sweat shop designed to produce generic hot wheels (Roll Fasts�). I'm going to take five of these stuffty cars and shove them into a pringles can can and mail them to my buddy brandethan. He'll take the cars and make exact replicas that are 100% untraceable. He'll mail the replicas back to me covered in saran wrap and boxed up in women's shoe boxes (to keep the FBI from knowing of course). I'll take the stuffty car replicas and mix them into xelau's food. He'll be eating his "Turbo Elbow Cheez Noodles" and choke to death on a Roll Fasts� replica. the car will be a FAST way to die if you know what I mean

know what I mean?

xelau you're grade A tye-dyed bullstuff