i have feelings of impending doom i can't reasonably get rid of at the source

[Strynd]

i don't know about anyone else but i have a lot of things that i encounter on a multiple per day basis and i don't see a way to shut it out and ignore it when i already know it exists and i have no real power to change it

most of the problems are related to negative interpersonal interactions on a daily basis and are all around me, making it completely unavoidable unless i go to extremes

there are also financial reasons that lead me to the conclusion that im doomed to either fail in life or live working a regular well paying job that im guaranteed to hate no matter what it is. and no it's not because i hate working, it's because i would rather spend 8 hours every weekday doing work to achieve my own goals and not slaving my life away for someone else's. i just don't have means to do it since i make pocket change compared to what i need to afford my own self employment/business and lack the skills or ideas for such a thing anyway

all these make me feel like is making me want to:
live in an isolated room with no internet and never go anywhere so i don't encounter the things that feed my thoughts of inevitable failure
make me want to live in buttforget nowhere like the mountains or somestuff to get away from it all
other things i would rather not talk about

i just don't know what to do about it tbh. i know im being an idiot by asking the blf for therapeutic and life advice but i just don't know what else to do. all my mom wants to do is put me on pills that she expects me to take for my whole life, and since pills haven't helped so far over 5 prescription changes i dont think they'll help, but even if there are pills that would help i don't think it would ever satisfy me or my desire to have a life self fulfillment because how are some stupid little capsules supposed to change the outcome of my life in my favor

idk i just feel trapped by so many problems that i cant solve on my own and no one else can or will help me solve. feels like there's too much bad in the world that is unwilling to change because people benefit from such things and there's no incentive to make it better for anyone else

has anyone else felt this way?

[Ad Bot]

[YouKnowWhoAgain]

About 3-5 months ago I felt this way for some reason

[TheABELBOTO]

it sounds like you've had an anxiety attack

it's rough man, but don't let it be the end the world for you

[Child Rapist Kidalex90]

bruh Its cause u Wanna fukk kidz

[Drydess]

mood tbh

[Edd Eddingtoncraft]

rob a brother shoe rob a brother lace

[Strynd]

bruh Its cause u Wanna fukk kidz

ok

[Isjix]

you pretty much just wrote what I've always thought of. I have the same issues

[Kumquat]

I mean youre in your do or die years, so its not uncommon to feel scrambled about this kind of stuff. Id just focus on what you want your life to be right now. I promise living in the mountains with a flip phone ignoring everything isnt what you want.

[Strynd]

after my psychiatrist made me high from ketamine and it didn't cost anything i felt actually ok for a couple days and i actually came up with a design for a bike accessory, youtube video ideas, and even drawing a loving picture again after 3+ months, but after that everything is back to where it was and i feel like nothing will get better

nothing seems like it will get better because of money barriers and no one else willing to change the stuff things about society. everyone seems to only be concerned about themselves, and anyone with the means to change things for the greater good are the same way. no one that actually sees this stuff and wants to do something about it has a way to because no one else cares

none of the managers where i work treat me like a human being and im just tired of giving too much of a stuff, and im tired of putting other people before myself. im tired of helping people when i feel like they could use it when they either don't appreciate it or tell me to stop because im insulting their abilities or something

i went to the store after christmas and bought 15 packs of 32 water bottles and i just gave them away to random people. it felt nice i guess but i got more people declining free loving water than just taking it. i know it's not common to buy a bunch of water and give it to strangers for free but imo it just further supports people taking the nice things people do for granted or find anything nice that people do just bizarre

im just done and i have no reason to believe that anything will get better. i see nothing but greed, handicapation, and history repeating itself. i mean humanity is going to forget itself in my lifetime if this keeps going and i don't see the cycle being broken any time soon

worst part is i just cant stop thinking about it. i have a hard time getting over stuff and i also encounter people being twats loving wherever i go, including the house i live in

being a vegetable or deaf or something would have been a lot less miserable than me seeing all the bad in the world and making me think the bad outweighs the good