2020 Northern California Coronavirus Outbreak: On the Scene with Snaffle J. Bean

[Snaffle J. Bean]

aight so lately this coronavirus stuff been popping off mad hardcore here in my neck of the woods:

• we got uhh buncha infected cruise ship peeps brought to a county next to mine for quarantine
• also probably the first case in the country of community transmission (occurring in said aforementioned county, well stuff what a coincidence) and they brought the damn bitch to a hospital in my city for treatment what the forget
• uhh let's see two mfs from some local colleges (one of which i live down the street from) came into contact with the hoe and were put into quarantine (but not before they went back to their respective campuses and prob spread that stuff every forgetin which way god damn)
• and uhh some other mf from another college in another neighboring county prob caught the stuff and spread it to his three roommates

so yeah looks like where i live is gonna have the honor of being the site of the first widespread coronavirus outbreak in the country. in light of this situation i have taken it upon myself to become a citizen journalist and report live on the scene in real time as stuff proceeds to hit the fan, providing priceless insight into how exactly society is going to crumble around you once the coronavirus reaches your city. in this thread you can expect to-the-milisecond text updates on the outbreak situation as well as photos and videos of people dropping dead in the street (guaranteed); i am also providing a highly valuable q&a service to answer any questions regarding what life is like in the corona hellzone completely free of charge. if i happen to fall victim to the virus you can also expect round-the-clock status reports on my health as i slowly succumb to the virus and die of pneumonia as well as fully-accurate sneeze and cough updates so you can know what kind of cough and sneeze frequency to expect once the virus gets you.

that's all for now. this is snaffle j. bean, citizen journalist signing off.

[Ad Bot]

[Biqus]

I will not die

[Pixel]

snaffle jean please dont die

[Conan]

cant wait for it to spread down to the bay area and completely decimate every UC, along with me

[TheScout]

got a friend in UCD, praying for his death so i get his D&D character's stuff safety

[Boomsticks Alt]

Since my household basically never goes outside we're safe