Author Topic: growing up  (Read 435 times)

im almost an adult and the concept of that is overwhelming
for any of you unaware, I've lived my entire life under close protection and kind of coddled by my grandpa and grandma. the most amazing old people you'll ever meet, those guys absolutely loved me; i was the one thing in their life that they loved most. for my entire life i was pretty lazy and didn't have much I had to do, probably for the worst but i had to have one hell of a nice childhood from it. I have so many fond memories of me watching spongebob, digimon, breadwinners, fairly odd parents, and all those other nick shows that Mr enter would probably stuff himself over and playing on my old wii with the chewed up nunchuk that I still own. I wouldn't have it any other way; my childhood was absolutely perfect. flawless.
both of them are gone now. god rest their souls.
life has felt so unbelievably empty without my grandma. my grandpa's been dead for years but my grandma only recently passed. sometimes I even see her in the house for a split second, and i had dreams where she was there that I can't really remember anymore. I would give anything to have her back, but knowing how hard she had to fight for years from the cancer just to be around me, she's in a better place and i don't want her suffering. I've dressed this moment ever since I was 10. i would have frequent nightmares of nan dying and i would always run to her room and sleep next to her bed, and wake up crying knowing that she's still with me. I never expected it would go down like this so early and i hate myself for being so optimistic about all this.
atleast I still have all my stuff from when I was young. My bookshelf was carved when my room was rearranged to turn it into an entertainment center which now houses my wii (still works) and all my other old consoles. My bureau is full of pictures of her with me and stupid stuff I did with her and all the silly nicnacs I begged her to buy every time we went somewhere. In the center of it all is a crochet she made for me one day, just on a whim, and framed.
I've never felt this empty before. I dont feel anything except regret for not spending more time with her and how rude I was when I was 14-15. I don't know if my life will ever go back to normal, just careless me having stupid fun whenever possible, but I sure loving hope it does.
i love you guys. i joined blf back when I was 12 or so, more specifically on vacation with my family meeting my uncle. you guys basically taught me the basics of social interaction and the harsh reality of the world, the fact that most people in the world aren't going to put up with you and the fact that being an idiot will just get me bullied. this stupid Albanian Lego forum carried me through the roughest years of my life.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Have you thought about what you want to do once you finish high school? Please do yourself the favor and attend college. It helps you (or at least, it helps me) plan on whats to come later in my life. You're almost 18, and unfortunately, your life will probably not go back to normal, but that is completely fine. That's just how growing up is. Growing up does not mean you cannot experience or continue to participate the same awesome stuff you did when you were younger. Hell, my brother is almost 30, owns a small house, works at a bank, and he still spends most of his income (that isn't mortgage, tax, or important needs related) on videogames.

Go to college. Build credit, buy a house, get a kick ass job, continue doing what you like.

college sounds like way too much stress for me sorry

Listen, I understand how college seems too stressful but honestly, you just have to push on, push on and work hard to get the things you want to have. You have to go headfirst into these situations and deal with it as it happens. I felt the same way as you with thinking college, adulthood, driving, or even having a job was too much for me but one must experience those things and push on. Even if college isn't meant for you, you should still try with trade school or community college. I know it seems rough but that's one must do in a society such as ours.

college sounds like way too much stress for me sorry
Thats what I said. I just got my Associate's, going for my Bachelor's. Its almost comical how easy it is compared to what you hear. Its like high school, but you're not subjugated to the confinement of a high school student. What I mean is, you're free. The transition from high school to college feels like tons of weight being lifted off of me.

Growing up means you have to step out of your comfort zone. Trust me when I say that not a single person cares about how you look, the way you act, or what you're wearing or whatever. If you don't want to socialize with anyone, you don't need to. If you do, you will always have the availability to do so.

No college will limit you to low paying jobs that will struggle to help you continue doing what you still enjoy doing. Just think about it. You don't have to go directly to college from HS. I imagine you're graduating this year, and you don't want all that stress of your grandmother's death, so you can take a year or so off. But man, I HIGHLY recommend it.

This. But in my opinion, since your grandmother's passing is so recent, take a 'free year'. Start college next year.

I mean right now you have the choice for many places to do online at reduced tuition. it's worth a shot

aye man, i feel you, with the whole grandma thing. i really do. back in 2018, my grandpa passed away. he was sweet, smart, loving, a great guy all around. contracted cancer and died. i regret not respecting him as much as he deserved. just know that your grandma, no matter how rude you were, was proud of you. she knew you were going to grow up and become better than you'd ever been. she may not be with you in a physical form, but shes still watching you and loving you with all her heart.

as to the college thing, you dont have to go to college. there are many options you could choose from, like trade school or community college. you dont even have to go to one of those kinds of places, depending on what you wanna do. its not like you only have one chance. also, what sheepocalypse said.
This. But in my opinion, since your grandmother's passing is so recent, take a 'free year'. Start college next year.