Traditional Pro-Ninja Argument:
Oh man ninjas are so much more awesome because they can fly and shrink down to the size of an atom and kill you just by staring at you. In fact, they don't even have to stare at you, they can just will you dead and you die because ninjas are the fundamental unit of matter. Ninjas are also completely silent, they can even talk silently through telepathy, but they usually don't because it unsettles people. Ninjas are infinitely intelligent. Ancient lore holds that the Earth was created by a ninja. Ninjas invented oxygen. This means they clearly existed before the invention of oxygen, which means that they don't need to breathe. Ninjas can also turn invisible, teleport, move faster than the speed of light, generate pure energy and matter, travel through time and heal themselves. Every ninja carries a forcefield generator that makes them impervious to all attacks. Fights between ninjas are purely for show, and governed by a strict set of rules to decide the winner, since they obviously can't fight to the death. The only way for a ninja to die is for them to wish themselves dead. This is called kamikaze, which has been most closely translated into English as "holy ice cream" (this is what an American sailor said as he witnessed the first kamikaze attack at Pearl Harbor in 1952). It's effectiveness was demonstrated during WWII when Japan's ninjas invaded Germany and sunk all their U-boats. Other events brought about by mass ninja kamikaze include the extinction of the dinosaurs and the movement of South America away from Africa.
Traditional Pro-Pirate Argument:
They have cannons and beer and wenches at port. Pirates stand for everything ninjas don't: explosions, drunkenness and love (WITH WOMEN). Real men like pirates.
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