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A man goes into a bar where he know the bartender. As he sits down, he orders a beer. Soon, the bartender brings the beer and asks "Why didn't you ask for taquilla? you always ask for it" the man replies "Na, whenever i drink that stuff i blow chunks", the bartender says: "oh, thats normal, everyone blows chunks", soon, the man replies: "No, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog"
The pope was riding in his black armored SUV trying to get to the airport to catch a plane. Halfway there, they hit a massive traffic jam. Soon, the pope jumps out and finds a empty taxi with a driver. He gets in yelling "Get me to the airport as fast as possible". So the taxi driver begins to drive around traffic getting to the airport but still not fast enough. Soon the pope says "Can't you drive any faster?", the cab driver says "Im driving as fast as i can!" pope says "I bet i can drive faster then you!" The cab driver says "If thats so, why don't you drive?" so they switch places and soon, the pope is driving but double the speed of the cab driver. Before they get to the airport, a cop stops them. Soon the cop gets out looks through the window of the driver and sees the pope, surprised, he runs back to his car and radios the captain "Captain Captain! i think i stop a important person, what do i do?" The captain asks "What important person? is he the president?", "No captain", "The King of England?" "No Captain", "Who?", "It must be a very important person because the pope is the driver!"
