Blockland Vending Machine! (OP missed 10 year anniversary and should feel bad)

[Sputnik]

you get emergency rations (only lasts about an hour)

i put in my entire body

[Ad Bot]

[cHeEsEpIzZa2]

a muffled scream is heard as a pool of blood starts seeping out of the vending machine
maybe it wasn't a good idea to put yourself in a vending machine mechanism

i insert minesweeper

[failbros2]

you get a sheet of graph paper which locates every single safe tile and mine. very cool!

i insert a landmine

[cHeEsEpIzZa2]

you get mineland, a country with happy landmine families playing in landmine parks and stuff

i insert an exponential rocket launcher

[Lapis the Floran]

you hear a deafening roar that grows louder every second

i insert a hyperlaser gun

[maxymax13]

you get wario land 4

i insert bump

[cHeEsEpIzZa2]

you get banned

i insert fuzztoasts "used" sylveon bodypillow

[Jackhammer]

you get an std


i insert the vending machine itself

[failbros2]

The vendi̷̧̲̗̯̞̠̲͌ͤ̾̾͛̽͝ͅn͉̳̠̣̣̥͙ͥ̒̇͑ͣ͟g̢̰̫̯͕̰̠̳ͯ̒͘͜ ̴͕ͨ̈́m̷̤̤̖̯̝̙̫͋̓͂ͩ͑ͪ͂a̵̭̻͚̳̣ͪͩ̉̾̊ͫ̀c̸͉̭̒ͭ͛̑ͪ͒̚h̝̘̔̊͢i͎͎̺͔̖͈̣̬͓͛ͧ̀n̶̘̬̤̖͋̊̄̅ͯ́͜e̵̞̥̪̅͑ͣ̋ ̭͆̿͛̏̕͜c̴̨̹͎̗̱̞͎̭̟̉̄͌̄̀r͎̦͙͙̣͔̔ͅȩ̡̬͈ͭ̅ͣ̆́ả̩͉̝̾̀ͥ̔̑͘͜͞ṭ̜͓̘͈̖̆͝͝ͅę̵̲̫̳͙̹̱̬͛̑̍͊s͇̥͓̺̗ͣ͌̃͘ ̤͊ͥà̢̧̫̝̙̝͕ͬ̄̏ ̢̺̩̻̻̳̤͕ͮͪ͜ͅs̆ͣ̿ͭ̐ͬ͏͔̺̱̠i̧̪̙̟̟̗̺̮̪ͩ͛͋̇̍ņ̶̥͓̣͙͒̏̎g̢̤ͦ͂͠͞ű̧̬̦̱͕̩̉̾̂̿̅ͥl̷̢̮̝̥͖̣̦̙̐̽̓̕a͙̼̟͓̯̤̲̫̾ͩ͛ͧͨ́̕r̤͇͓ͥ͒ͦ̓̽̒̓͟͢i̙̙͖̞ͦͩ͆ͭ͑̅̏̕͜͡t̯̯̲͒ͅỷ̩̞͓ͪ̽ͫͅ ̵̖͎̃̒͞ả̟̥͔̄̒͋̕n̩̋ͨ́̏ͅdͫ̈̈͛̋ͭ҉̳̻̱̟̺̲͚͝ ̸̯̝̬̟̎ͣͫ̆̾͡ḏ̷̨̤̯̘̬͛̒̃̈́̑͒͊͝ȇ̠͇̥̻̯̭̈́̓s̸̺̟͖̺̣̏̌̽ͬ͆̓ͣͧt̢̠̮̼͇ͯͬ͘r̩͖̿̇ͨ͗ő̷͍̜̟̙͔̬̇̕y̴̨̱͕͙͍͓̣̙̤̬̒ͥ̊͂͋s̜̱̙̯͓̝̜͍̊̐͘͠ ̵̧̡̭̥̺̫̦͈̊ͪ̚e͇͍̺̞̪̳̪ͬ̍̾͌͠v̨͎̪̯͍̮̱̤͖͖̋̌̒͌̂͜ë̪̳̺͖͍̞ͤͨ̄ͫ̂̅͠r̩̰͔̥̦̮̖ͦ͑͑̊͝ͅȳ̸̛̝̫̻̻̤̻̻͇̑́͊͋̅̅̽t̨̰̬̙̭͔̘̳͙͔̂̀ͭ͒͛͒ͨh̶͓̞̗͕͎ͨ͗̿͊ͭ͠͝i͓͙͖̼ͤ̍̑͑̐̐̈́ͯ͒́ͅn̴̷̫̭̲ͬ͆͛̓ͪ̾g̵͔̯͙̖̒̇̑̑̿͟ ̵̨̠̤̼̱͔̙̋ͧ͡a̸̧̞͉̳͈̝̩̖̓ͭ͟r̶̜̩̺̱̳͉͋̄͒̾ô̯̟̗̤̭͉̺̟̖͊̌̽ͤ͢ư̵̗̙͇̱̝͙͎͎͉͆̈ͨ͆̒̎͡n̢͉̬͕ͮͥͧ̄͋ͅd͔̼̤̟̦ͦ̇̈́̄̃͆͋ ̴̮̯͖̰̾̆ͣ̒ͧ͒̅͒ͩẏ̴̟̰͍̻̃͆̋̀o̳̼͙̘̽̒̿́́ͫͤ͆ụ̰̗͇̯ͪ̋ͦ̈ͫ

I insert a literal potato computer

[Generic Face]

The vending machine freezes and stops working.

I insert yo mama

[cHeEsEpIzZa2]

you hear wood cracking and splintering, then a mirror breaking loudly, then the vending machine trembles once and explodes

i install a new vending machine and insert 1 venezualen dollar

[Rocket Launcher]

you hear wood cracking and splintering, then a mirror breaking loudly, then the vending machine trembles once and explodes

i install a new vending machine and insert 1 venezualen dollar

The old vending machine that once exploded slams down on you like every BLF user replying to controversial topics.
I insert 50 US cents into both machines. The one that @cHeEsEpIzZa2 installed is starting to radiate energy.

[cHeEsEpIzZa2]

new: you get a sinle coin worth 50 cents and 1 venezualen dollar. you die after touching it, not realizing it has onplayertouch > player > kill eventing
old: you get a blockland mug. 6 years later badspot updates the mug to have a huge hole in the bottom, and removed handle support. you threw it away and never thought about it again.

new: i insert a nuclear fuel rod
old: i insert avocado soda

[fuzzytoastedcoconut]

the two machines combine and you get nuclear avacado soda


i put in ##### r o b u x

[maxymax13]

skip

new: you get a sinle coin worth 50 cents and 1 venezualen dollar. you die after touching it, not realizing it has onplayertouch > player > kill eventing
old: you get a blockland mug. 6 years later badspot updates the mug to have a huge hole in the bottom, and removed handle support. you threw it away and never thought about it again.

new: i insert a nuclear fuel rod
old: i insert avocado soda

the radiation from the fuel rod causes the new vending machine to melt. you get radiation sickness
you also get a glass of orange juice from the old machine

i insert a single lego brick