My mom beats me, my dad beats my mom, and we all beat the animals. I moved out of my parents' house but got scammed by a prince and lost all my money. I now live in an alleyway and my computer is made out of cardboard and noodles for wires. My girlfriend left me for my brother who is ten years my junior. Yesterday I begged on the streets for nine hours and managed to make $104.40, but I lost it all in the stock market even though I don't own any shares. I have OCD, ADD, and Polydactyly.
And my parents named me Cletus.