Off Topic > Off Topic
Bullys
WRB852:
Someone wants to beat the forget out of me for dating their ex currently. Does that count? :D
Antallion:
It's surprising how little I have to deal with it. Only occasional remarks, never anything ongoing.
zz_tophat:
--- Quote from: Rughugger on August 14, 2009, 11:50:33 AM ---On the other hand, I don't see how stopping years of torment and ridicule to be as meager as a prize. If it means a little bit of self depreciating humor to end a downward spiral of abuse, I'd be more than man enough to accept a drop in dignity. But what you don't seem to realize is that throughout all of this, I did not feel any less about myself. As I said, it was simply a means to end a series of events designed to cause me to be outcast and feel low about myself. What I was doing was no less than what anyone else was doing, so there was no dignity change for me, more so for the bully because he couldn't out insult me.
--- End quote ---
That you don't feel any loss does not shock me, I long ago gave up on most of today's youth. "Pride" has somehow became a bad word associated with suborn old men. So many people are so proud to be "agreeable" that it sickens me.
It won't be until you have an outsiders perspective that you will understand what I am saying. Like the one day your child comes home from school and tells you that they are being bullied. Will tell tell them to degrade themselves for the amusment of others as you did? "Swallow your pride son, if you agree with the people that make fun of you, you'll never be mistreated again", of course this is the same as saying: "If you allow yourself to be mistreated enough you'll grow numb to it".
Antallion:
'agreeable', aka unable to form own opinions; no firm supports for a personality, only what others think.
Rughugger:
--- Quote from: zz_tophat on August 14, 2009, 12:08:01 PM ---That you don't feel any loss does not shock me, I long ago gave up on most of today's youth. "Pride" has somehow became a bad word associated with suborn old men. So many people are so proud to be "agreeable" that it sickens me.
It won't be until you have an outsiders perspective that you will understand what I am saying. Like the one day your child comes home from school and tells you that they are being bullied. Will tell tell them to degrade themselves for the amusment of others as you did? "Swallow your pride son, if you agree with the people that make fun of you, you'll never be mistreated again", of course this is the same as saying: "If you allow yourself to be mistreated enough you'll grow numb to it".
--- End quote ---
One can say the same about dignity as well. However, it was either this method, or go the way of fueling their torment by getting into an altercation. Since I was in foster care at that point, I had to stay good for the sake of the county. I wanted to be out of that place as quick as possible. Dignity, pride, honor, those things were a foreign thing to me until I was on my own.
You only assume I'd force my children to make the same choices in life that I have. I have been there on the outsider's perspective. I dated a mother of two and one of her kids (whom both were comfortable enough to call me dad despite not being married to her) came up to me telling me about that exact situation. Kids were calling him gay and things of that nature. I asked him one simple question, with the front that I wasn't going to tease or harass him for his answer. He said he wasn't. So I told him, "Well if you know you aren't, what's letting it bother you so much? Kids are going to say any number of things to try and make you feel bad about yourself and they will always be lies. So long as you know the truth, and you know that you're a good person, doesn't it make sense to not let it bother you and simply ignore them?" Needless to say, he's doing just fine with his own group of friends who respect and treat him properly.