Beaten to Death

[Azerath]

A small descriptive piece I wrote.

You get pushed against a wall, and you head knocks up against the brick. You're slightly dizzy and your head hurts like a bad headache. You try to regain focus, but by the time you try to move, you're face collides with a dirty, clenched fist, cracking your jaw into a bone-scraping position. Your tooth knocks loose while it rips your gums into a bloody hole. Your head knocks against the wall again, ripping the flesh. Your head begins to bleed while you get kicked in the stomach, creating a long lasting pain throughout your body. You lie on the ground gripping your stomach, while a large brick is dropped on your heaving chest. Your ribs shatter inside your body and carve through your skin, and puncture your lungs. You can no longer breathe, and you can hardly move. A knife slits your throat open and blood starts to poor out of the wound. Your vision begins to slightly fade, and you are slowly becoming numb. Eventually, you cannot see, hear, taste, smell, or feel.
You are dead.

DeviantArt Link:

http://azerathangelwolf.deviantart.com/art/Being-Beat-Up-138785647

[Ad Bot]

[prnceoprsia]

=( You lose game over. Lol Very nice short story though

[-Jetz-]

Respawn in 10... 9... 8...

[Azerath]

"You are dead. Not big surprise."

[yndaaa]

Woah... Creepy

[Wookiee]

...you're face collides with a dirty...

"You are face" ;)
Nice descriptive work though.

[Illidan]

Because you know what it's like to be beaten to death.

[lolzorz mcgee]

Nice. :o

I am now watching you.

[Azerath]

Because you know what it's like to be beaten to death.

You know what, I don't know what's it's like. I just described it how I would imagine it. It's just a piece of writing.

[VerticalHorizon]

Just click to respawn.

[.::Taboo::.]

Because you know what it's like to be beaten to death.

Funtastically useless comment is funtastically useless, wee.

[MackTheHunter]

Tasty

[blaman]

Cheery... :D

But really, good job.
Tis' a nice peice of writing indeed.

My only peice of criticism: In the first two sentances you say the word "head" 3 times in quick succession. It sounds a bit odd.
But yeah, that's not a big deal, it's still well done.

[Riot]

Black people

[Big Brother]

:o