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First chapter of a book i'm writing (The Rapture)
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Illidan:

--- Quote from: Inv3rted on November 26, 2009, 08:51:44 PM ---
--- End quote ---
Stop right there, and leave it at that.
WhatevaGuy:

--- Quote from: Inv3rted on November 26, 2009, 08:51:44 PM ---Cry more. It was a joke.

--- End quote ---

It wasn't particularly funny.
LoserHero:
The forums is probably not the best place to get constructive criticism, I'd suggest your classmates. The only thing I have to say that hasn't been said is make your sentences flow. 'I don't like to read. Stop. Then read some more. Finding out these sentences are too short.'.
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