Relationship Psychiatry

[Otis Da HousKat]

Be warned my friend, you are about to enter a strange new domain. The female form is one of great beauty, but the female mind is simply put, a clusterforget.

The female lets emotion rule over reason. Your female friend will be irrational and will do things that boggle your mind. You cannot change this behavior, just keep yourself above their level to prevent being sucked into their nonsense.

Relationships are not equal. There is always a power difference between the couple. It often favors the female; where the male only receives what the female is willing to give.

Despite your best intentions and wise advice, the female will choose to ignore it. Following the consequences of ignoring you they will blame you for not helping them prevent it. This is an example of the irrationality of women.

Women are the worst thing for a man. They conflict with our natural way of self in almost every aspect. Our society pushes for them to be strong and independent, but also teaches them they need a strong male to guide them. They are emotional wrecks and have trouble realizing how their actions affect others, even those that they care for the most.

But woman are also a strong tool for a man. Our society trains men to be almost completely emotionally reserved. This is the macho image. We are supposed to be tough and let nothing affect us. Real mean don't hurt and such drivel as that. Without an outlet to let our emotions run wild our psych breaks down. While men favor reason over emotion, it is important to have a fair share of both. Men who cannot express this need often end as criminals. The female provides us an outlet for this emotional release.

What I'm trying to say is be friends with her and have fun. If she likes you and you like her you can start going out. You're young; go out, have fun, and get some pusillanimous individual.

[Ad Bot]

[Swholli]

You're young; go out, have fun, and get some pusillanimous individual.

Amen to that, Otis. Amen to that.

[Otis Da HousKat]

Amen to that, Otis. Amen to that.

Then do it, friend.

[Swholli]

Do it Maggot. <crud its suppose to be an "F">

Otis did it without all the unneeded, unfunny jokes.

[Hollywood]

I'd be careful about getting too friendly, the friend zone can be quite a treacherous place.
But girls love confidence, it is one of the most attractive things anybody can possess. Be sure of yourself, and if you decide to ask her out, be thoroughly happy with your decision. And I hate to say it, but if you don't do it, then you may never know how she feels about you. So do it, be confident, truly believe that she IS in your league, and do it. Don't think about what could happen, because you'll only find out if you do it.
Good luck. :)

[Marcem]

You can do anything, if you believe!

[WhatevaGuy]

Bahaha, I remember one time when I had to break up with one of my friend's girlfriends for him.  He and two eighth graders were actually afraid of this woman.
I do admit I was rather blunt, though.  I may have made her cry.

But that's beside the point.  I think you should; but why ask?  Everyone is going to have different opinions--if two people have opposing choices (like, say, one friend=no and the other=yes) you would be getting nowhere.
If you really like that girl, go for it.  The only opinion that matters here is yours.

And now would be the perfect time to have one of those dramatic movie scenes where this advice applies to me, except no, so...
I'm rambling.  I'd better just post this.

EDIT: I actually read none of this topic except the first post, so if this has been said in any shape or form, I beg your pardon.

[Thorax]

So there's this girl I like. Nothing too romantic about it, other than I'd be interested in perhaps taking her out sometime, that sort of thing.

Now, this is mostly hypothetical because really, I'm tired of all this high school drama bullstuff and I have better fun being single.

Say I asked her out in the near future, as a full fledged boyfriend. Now, say she said no (shocker there).

We see each other roughly 20 minutes and a class that she sits three sections ahead of me. She thinks I'm funny and she does enjoy my company, we're not the greatest of friends but we share a few things in common, yadda yadda yadda.

So, lets say she says no. What would that possibly do? Would it really be such a complete and total offense that she no longer speaks to me? Period?

She's not the girl to get easily embarrassed, she's very smart, and hell, she's a senior so she's rather mature.

So, all I'm saying is, if I were to ask her out, what do you think would happen? Me personally, I don't plan to do it, simply because I didn't really want to all of a sudden. Perhaps I'll ask her to a dance or prom or something, if that. It happened to be brought up in band the other day when I heard she was single. I said to a friend: "Eh, she's cute and I rather enjoy hanging around her, I'd probably be interested." Then he said something to the effect of: "you have no chance" or some lame remark, and I said: "Hey, maybe I'll ask her out just to shut you up." Some how or another this got me into a huge fight about: "don't do it man, she;ll never speak to you again, it'll be awkward!"

Please, I'm the king of awkward. I'd relish it.

The only reason I ask is because these people are so god damned immature that they still deal with relationships in the 3'rd grade mindset. Sending people notes, having another person ask if you like them, all this nonsense that I think we need to grow out of.

So, someone say they support me so I can shut this kid up.

EDIT: Damn typo.

I read very few of the replies, so sorry if you already have answers.

Now, if you were just to go up to her and straight up ask her out (like Hollywood said) she could take kindly to that and you'd have a girlfriend. If it's a no, it's not too big of a blow to you as you don't know her super well.

If you become good friends with her to "get to know her" things can become awkward and a yes would just be weird.

My suggestion to you is to take it somewhat slow, but not too slow. Ask her to a dance. If that works out, then she's at least interested in you enough to be seen/hang out with you in public, meaning she has confidence in you. If that works, ask her out on a date to get to know her. Movies, theme park, etc. If it was a successful date, ask her out as your girlfriend.

If at any time she says no, you really don't have anything to lose. The main point is just to not fall head over heels for her. Like the dance. If she says yes, great, she possibly likes you and this can be the beginning of a relationship. If no, it's not a big deal. She probably already has a date or just wants to go with someone else. Now if you ask her out on a date, a yes means that she's more interested in you than a friend and wants to find out more about you. If she says no, then she'd like to be friends with you. Now, theirs nothing wrong with being friends with her, and she could end up liking you more if you start being a good friend. Let's say you did both those things and she said yes to both. Now you can ask her to be your girlfriend. If yes, great! you've achieved your goal. If it's a no, there could be a couple reasons behind that. She decided that she doesn't like enough to be her boyfriend.  Or there is some other reason that she doesn't want to tell you. This could be that she just doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment, she likes someone more than you, or something complicated like she knows that her friend likes you and by going out with you would mean ruining their friendship. There's a lot of things it could be, so just be aware that it may not just be she doesn't like you.

Now, I'm not a girl, so I don't really know what they think. I'm also not a love guru, so my advice may not apply to you. I'm going by the experiences I've gone through, experiences friends have gone through, etc etc etc.

Anywho, best of luck to you, and I hope everything turns out ok. Also remember,

I have better fun being single.

Before I post: DO EVERYTHING IN PERSON!!! NEVER TEXT/CALL THEM ASKING THEM TO ANYTHING!

[Swholli]

Very helpful all of you, more so Hollywood simply because girls are way better at this stuff. And believe me I appreciate the replies.

But, the silly thing is, I was actually more concerned with the way people think rather than the actual problem persisting me asking her anything.

I honestly made this post in an angry huff insisting that things can't get awkward between people, especially people in my situation. But this jerk-wad friend of mine (who's not a bad guy, just a tad dense) insists otherwise. He doesn't really think well for himself.

He based all of his argument on previous encounters that he's had, and he is in no way popular with the ladies.

But thanks anyway for all the replies, I suppose I might end up going through with it simply for the hell of it, I really have nothing to lose and I am not in anyway a shy person.

[Thorax]

Good luck and may the force be with you!

[Rughugger]

There was a girl I chased for four years in High School. Granted, it wasn't so much of a pursuit, just the most awkward attempts to be her lab partner or homework buddy while we were at school. In any case, I'm sure she got the hint I was interested and finally, two weeks before graduation, I got the guts to write her a note and stuffed it in her locker. This was of course after the fact that one day she called me "hun" instead of just addressing me by my name. I thought I had an in and took it.

Unfortunately, the next day when I walked by her as per my usual tradition, I wave hello hoping she'd bring up the note. Instead she looked at her friend, pointed in my direction and they both started laughing. Granted, I was crushed, but at least I can go through life knowing how she felt rather than ever wonder what could have been and I can happily live with that.

Just go for it, life is too short to live with regrets.

[Swiss]

stick it in her pooper.

[Sirrus]

I assume when you say "Ask out" you actually mean "Ask out to go do something that is actually a date" if you want to break a 3rd grader's mindset, don't ask "LOL WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?" ask "Hey, would you want to (dinner, movie, paintballing, etc.) with me some time?"

Also I get what you're saying. I'm going through a little bit of the same thing at this point. I feel like highschool is a time to have good friends and solid relationships, romantic or otherwise. I don't want to be in a relationship with a girl just because, and I definitely don't want drama in it. If I find a girl that I feel like I can have a normal relationship with and it not be weird at all, than great, but for the time being I think I'm just going to enjoy being single.

[Caution]

I agree with everything you said there, as far as the drama stuff goes.

Other than that, ask her to hang out sometime. If she says yes, you'll be happy and chances are she's happy. If she says no, then don't let it effect your relationship with her. Though, for me, it is easier said than done.

And as for your friend, if he's so negative, forget him, and I don't mean literally.

[Sirrus]

Paintball=greatest date ever.