Relationship Psychiatry

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Marcem:
You can do anything, if you believe!

WhatevaGuy:
Bahaha, I remember one time when I had to break up with one of my friend's girlfriends for him. He and two eighth graders were actually afraid of this woman.
I do admit I was rather blunt, though. I may have made her cry.

But that's beside the point. I think you should; but why ask? Everyone is going to have different opinions--if two people have opposing choices (like, say, one friend=no and the other=yes) you would be getting nowhere.
If you really like that girl, go for it. The only opinion that matters here is yours.

And now would be the perfect time to have one of those dramatic movie scenes where this advice applies to me, except no, so...
I'm rambling. I'd better just post this.

EDIT: I actually read none of this topic except the first post, so if this has been said in any shape or form, I beg your pardon.

Thorax:

--- Quote from: Swholli on December 01, 2009, 07:01:34 PM ---So there's this girl I like. Nothing too romantic about it, other than I'd be interested in perhaps taking her out sometime, that sort of thing.

Now, this is mostly hypothetical because really, I'm tired of all this high school drama bullstuff and I have better fun being single.

Say I asked her out in the near future, as a full fledged boyfriend. Now, say she said no (shocker there).

We see each other roughly 20 minutes and a class that she sits three sections ahead of me. She thinks I'm funny and she does enjoy my company, we're not the greatest of friends but we share a few things in common, yadda yadda yadda.

So, lets say she says no. What would that possibly do? Would it really be such a complete and total offense that she no longer speaks to me? Period?

She's not the girl to get easily embarrassed, she's very smart, and hell, she's a senior so she's rather mature.

So, all I'm saying is, if I were to ask her out, what do you think would happen? Me personally, I don't plan to do it, simply because I didn't really want to all of a sudden. Perhaps I'll ask her to a dance or prom or something, if that. It happened to be brought up in band the other day when I heard she was single. I said to a friend: "Eh, she's cute and I rather enjoy hanging around her, I'd probably be interested." Then he said something to the effect of: "you have no chance" or some lame remark, and I said: "Hey, maybe I'll ask her out just to shut you up." Some how or another this got me into a huge fight about: "don't do it man, she;ll never speak to you again, it'll be awkward!"

Please, I'm the king of awkward. I'd relish it.

The only reason I ask is because these people are so god damned immature that they still deal with relationships in the 3'rd grade mindset. Sending people notes, having another person ask if you like them, all this nonsense that I think we need to grow out of.

So, someone say they support me so I can shut this kid up.

EDIT: Damn typo.

--- End quote ---

I read very few of the replies, so sorry if you already have answers.

Now, if you were just to go up to her and straight up ask her out (like Hollywood said) she could take kindly to that and you'd have a girlfriend. If it's a no, it's not too big of a blow to you as you don't know her super well.

If you become good friends with her to "get to know her" things can become awkward and a yes would just be weird.

My suggestion to you is to take it somewhat slow, but not too slow. Ask her to a dance. If that works out, then she's at least interested in you enough to be seen/hang out with you in public, meaning she has confidence in you. If that works, ask her out on a date to get to know her. Movies, theme park, etc. If it was a successful date, ask her out as your girlfriend.

If at any time she says no, you really don't have anything to lose. The main point is just to not fall head over heels for her. Like the dance. If she says yes, great, she possibly likes you and this can be the beginning of a relationship. If no, it's not a big deal. She probably already has a date or just wants to go with someone else. Now if you ask her out on a date, a yes means that she's more interested in you than a friend and wants to find out more about you. If she says no, then she'd like to be friends with you. Now, theirs nothing wrong with being friends with her, and she could end up liking you more if you start being a good friend. Let's say you did both those things and she said yes to both. Now you can ask her to be your girlfriend. If yes, great! you've achieved your goal. If it's a no, there could be a couple reasons behind that. She decided that she doesn't like enough to be her boyfriend. Or there is some other reason that she doesn't want to tell you. This could be that she just doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment, she likes someone more than you, or something complicated like she knows that her friend likes you and by going out with you would mean ruining their friendship. There's a lot of things it could be, so just be aware that it may not just be she doesn't like you.

Now, I'm not a girl, so I don't really know what they think. I'm also not a love guru, so my advice may not apply to you. I'm going by the experiences I've gone through, experiences friends have gone through, etc etc etc.

Anywho, best of luck to you, and I hope everything turns out ok. Also remember,

--- Quote from: Swholli on December 01, 2009, 07:01:34 PM ---I have better fun being single.

--- End quote ---

Before I post: DO EVERYTHING IN PERSON!!! NEVER TEXT/CALL THEM ASKING THEM TO ANYTHING!

Swholli:
Very helpful all of you, more so Hollywood simply because girls are way better at this stuff. And believe me I appreciate the replies.

But, the silly thing is, I was actually more concerned with the way people think rather than the actual problem persisting me asking her anything.

I honestly made this post in an angry huff insisting that things can't get awkward between people, especially people in my situation. But this jerk-wad friend of mine (who's not a bad guy, just a tad dense) insists otherwise. He doesn't really think well for himself.

He based all of his argument on previous encounters that he's had, and he is in no way popular with the ladies.

But thanks anyway for all the replies, I suppose I might end up going through with it simply for the hell of it, I really have nothing to lose and I am not in anyway a shy person.

Thorax:
Good luck and may the force be with you!

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