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Off Topic / Re: worries and thoughts
« on: May 06, 2022, 02:41:51 AM »
I'm worried that even if I get a good handle on my internal/personal struggles, it won't matter anymore by then because my country will have grown too dangerous for me to survive. I'm worried that as soon as I start recovering from the dark place I've been clawing my way out of, the increasingly hostile sociopolitical landscape surrounding me will just kill me instead. stuff's been scary.
I know it's irrational for me to let that possibility bother me because 1.) I'm already doing everything I can do about a problem that's way bigger than me, and 2.) worrying about it in the meantime creates more problems than it solves.
But if I'm being honest, the only thing that probably scares me more than death is the idea that I didn't die until I'd finally found something to live for. All that effort gone to waste, and right as I start getting attached. Lol
I know it's irrational for me to let that possibility bother me because 1.) I'm already doing everything I can do about a problem that's way bigger than me, and 2.) worrying about it in the meantime creates more problems than it solves.
But if I'm being honest, the only thing that probably scares me more than death is the idea that I didn't die until I'd finally found something to live for. All that effort gone to waste, and right as I start getting attached. Lol