There has been an era that started about half a year ago, my parents used to yell at me and at eachother a lot, they sometimes grabbed me and pushed me around, broke a few things. In that time, I often felt alone, like my parents didn't give a stuff for me and hated me. That made me hate them. I couldn't stand their voices, despied them, didn't ever want to see them again.
In the last few months, things have started getting better. My parents somehow stopped the constant yelling, and things got back to normal. But they didn't.
When being alone in my room, I kept wishing to never see them again, to run away from home. Now I am forcing myself to think better, trying not to be angry all the time, but there is one catch. I feel guilt. I am now afraid that something bad happens to them, because I know I will feel guilt for the rest of my life for it.
I love my parents, but at the same time my subconscious hates them.
I also keep being angry because of the conflicts within my head, thinking about bad things all the time, making life less fun.
It's just so annoying having constant bad thoughts, what should I do?
