itt: you're a doctor, diagnose the above user's problem

[beachbum111111]

Being polish

[Ad Bot]

[CableBox64]

PCP overdose

[Rigel]

I'm afraid that you're turning... Japanese.

[Nonnel]

My diagnosis? Bad sanskritting!

[Darth C3P0²]

Mustache is over half of your loving body weight dear god

[badguy098]

being edgy

[Figure]

gay, only treatable by stabbing himself

[maxymax13]

you got *insert fake thing* cancer you need to pay me 10000 dollars to cure it

[SwiftHyena2593]

for surfing in the fall.

[c[_]]

a lot of things

[Redconer]

Overdose of mercury tablets

[cromartini]

not gay