thats like me saying i loving hate spiders but i love staring at them all day and i wish i could let them crawl all over me
No, it's more like saying you love cooking but have a fear of being burned.
Which is completely normal.
You can enjoy an activity, but if it has moments where physical pain can happen, then it's kind of normal to be fearful of those parts.
I don't really like playing football, nor am I a big fan of watching it (besides big games like World Cup and Olympic football).
I suppose you just have to either accept that you could get hurt, or not play.
If you enjoy the game though, you can get in to it alright despite the pain that can sometimes happen.
And, if you fear having the ball hit you a lot, then maybe you shouldn't play in Goal?
Also, try checking the ball before you play. If it's really really hard, then let a bit of air out. Enough so that it's still playable, but not so much so that it feels like a bowling ball to the face.
