Translated for those over the age of four.
THE stuff LIST
Bathroom Humor at its finest:
Ghost stuff
The kind where you feel the stuff come out, but there is no stuff in the toilet.
Clean stuff
The kind where you stuff it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet stuff
The kind where you wipe your ass 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your ass and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave stuff
This happens when you're done stuff-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to stuff some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-stuff
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Gassy stuff
It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker stuff
The kind of stuff you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Lincoln Log stuff
The kind of stuff that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Corn stuff
Self-explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-stuff stuff
The kind where you want to stuff but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap stuff
That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks stuff (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your ass so fast, your ass gets splashed with water.
Liquid stuff
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your ass and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican stuff
It smells so bad your nose burns.
The Surprise stuff
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a stuff!!!
The Dangling stuff
This stuff refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done stuff-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.