Author Topic: IPDC (Story)  (Read 1866 times)

So, I wrote this because I was bored. It's about these time-traveling agents who kill people who break the time-traveling rules and regulations. Some thing ARC said made me want to write it. Go dig up the quote or something, I'll put it here.


   Walking down the dark street, the young man was nearing his thirties. He was a successful reporter, having been all over the world in his rather short career working for CNN. He walked into his apartment building, surveying the sleeping receptionist with a smirk. He was foreign, with skin that seemed to have come from India. The reporter continued, walking to the third floor and down the hall to his room. He reached into his pocket and fumbled around. He couldn’t find his keyring. When he pulled his hand out, a dogtag fell to the ground. It said: ‘Property of William Horward’.

“Oh, don’t tell me… stuff, stuff stuff stuff…” He mumbled. An elderly woman behind him gave him a stern look.

“What are you looking at? Oh, you’re offended? forget, stuff, forget, damn, cunt and snake, now go blow it out your ass.” She puffed up and entered her room, grumbling about today’s youth and manners. William chuckled, despite his key situation. He figured he should apologize in the morning. He began to walk downstairs again, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He had just returned from a party hosted by his friend Antonio, and he had taken their keys. After the number was dialed, it rang three times before Antonio picked up.

“Hello?”

“Tony, it’s Will. Did I leave my keys there? They’re not in my pocket, and I really need to get into my room and pass out.” Antonio let out a hearty laugh, half sincere laughter and the other half being drunken chuckling.

“’Aye, man, Lemme’ check… Yeah, they’re here. Come an’ get them, I can’t drive ter’ save my life like this, ha!” Antonio hung up. Or dropped the phone. Will didn’t care, he needed his keys. He walked outside, passing the receptionist again. He was awake this time, in a daze.

“Oh, hello William. Why are you out so late?” He muttered.

“I forgot my keys at a friend’s house, I’m gonna go get them. Why are you still at the desk? Didn’t your shift end two hours ago?”

“Oh, Ian never showed up for his shift. I figured I’d cover for him. Again. As always…” He trailed off, staring into space.

“Ok, well, good luck, then.” William left the building.
   He walked down the sidewalk towards Antonio’s apartment, stumbling a few times because of his alcohol intake at the party. He saw a group of men ahead that hadn’t seen him yet. They looked shady, except for one man, who look extremely terrified. William hid behind some trashcans, to see what they were doing. They, apparently, were arguing.

“No, guys, come on, really… Have some heart, I’m just trying to make it better…”

“Shut the forget up, you know the rules, and you just put a big crack in rule number one. You know what that’s like? It’s like roosterslapping administration in the face. Administration doesn’t like to be roosterslapped. And that’s why We exist.” The man pulled out a pistol unlike one William had ever seen before. He sobered up quickly.

“You know what happens to people who break rule number one, right?”

“No! No please, anything, I’ll do anything!”

“It’s too late, you’ve done the damage, and now you have to pay the price.” With that, he shot the man in the face. His body crumpled immediately.

“Come on, let’s get rid of it before—“ he paused as William knocked a trashcan over.

“Oh, stuff, one of them saw us. Quick, get the mind eraser…” His partner pulled out a tube-like device and pushed a button. It popped open, revealing a lens like a camera, and an aiming laser. He focused the beam on William’s forehead.

“Now hold still, little man, this won’t hurt a bit…”

“Wait, stop, it’s him…” He pulled something out of his pocket and pressed a button. A screen lit up and they both looked back and forth between the object and William.

“You sure…?”

“Yeah. Positive. William Horward, right?” He asked, smirking. William was silent.

“No matter, you’re coming with us anyway.” He hoisted William over his shoulder.

“Let’s go, time to get a bonus.” He readied something on his wrist, apparently putting in a date. The last thing William saw before everything went black was the strange object the two men had out, and on the center was William’s face.

« Last Edit: July 02, 2010, 01:41:02 PM by DracoSoul »


You like cursing. A lot.

It seems kind of funny that a lot people, like myself, are writing stories.

Just remove some language and it'll pass my high expectations. You're a great writer.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2010, 06:36:35 PM by PJ Boy »

I'm trying to make it sound like real conversation. Yes, people actually say stuff like that. Yes, I've overheard actual conversation like that. More than once, too.

I can see this as a movie. Well, I can see any story as a movie, but this one would be unique and awesome!

Don't stop writing it. I've been writing my book since 7th grade, and now I'm in 8th with summer already here, and it's still not finished.

Would you consider making it a short story or a full novel?

Maybe a short story, I can write a part 2.

(Small bump) A short story would be nice, but I can see this as a novel, like my book. Ideas just keep  popping inside your head and eventually, it's a double novel. That's the mark of a good writer. I know I've said this too often already, but keep writing anything that might keep your book alive. Listen to music, sit back and think, or use ideas from friends. Anything would suffice.

Not bad. Needs less spacing, though.

Not bad. Needs less spacing, though.

It looked sloppy when I just copy/pasta'd from word, so I spaced it on the forum so it doesn't look like an intimidating wall of text.